Rooted in Earth, Suspended from Sky

Learning to Let Go

2012-02-10T20:09:00.000-06:00

Today was a typical day off; half of the day I was situated in the kitchen, cooking, and the other half of the day I washed dishes, fed the fire, and talked on the phone with a friend. By nightfall--and T'ai Chi Chih practice time--I realized that my injured knee felt exceedingly painful.

Did I injure my knee yesterday when I pulled three sleds full of wood through the forest? Did I stand too long at the kitchen counter today? Or???

Since I'll be teaching four T'ai Chi Chih classes per week for the next month I decided that the most reasonable and safe way to conduct today's TCC practice was while seated. And ... it was a delightful practice.

The more I experience seated T'ai Chi Chih, the more I enjoy it. In other words, as I allow myself to modify the standing practice to be easily performed while seated, it's simpler to do without experiencing strain or discomfort. (I suppose I could have done this all along but--obviously--it took me some time to realize that I could relax into the "effort of no effort.") Ah, yes, it takes time to learn to let go....

Living in the Present

2012-02-09T17:57:00.000-06:00

The temps are falling again and it's time to venture out into the woods to cut down a dead tree, slice it up into foot-and-a-half servings, and haul it to the house to feed to the ever-hungry wood burner. Frances is prepping the chainsaw as I begin my blog and then we'll both head out to the woods to share this task.

I just came back inside from our out-of-doors wood hauling and I commented to Frances that I couldn't believe I taught a T'ai Chi Chih class this morning. It already feels like a lifetime ago. Is that what it feels like to live in the present?

There were a few extra minutes this morning before students arrived which allowed me to do my Morning Body Prayer and begin a run through of cleansing Qigong. TCC practice was peaceful and calming (as usual). Early in the afternoon Namaste started chewing up leaves on a house plant (a sign that his stomach is upset and he needs to vomit). Soon he did his deed and I followed it up with some Reiki energy work on his belly.

When Frances, Namaste, and I walked to the mailbox just before dark, he ran at top speed both down the driveway and back up again. Gee, I guess he feels better. Me ... I'm tired after hauling wood and I look forward to a relaxed, restful evening.

The Ultimate Treat

2012-02-08T19:21:00.000-06:00

I enjoyed my day teaching a drop-in T'ai Chi Chih class, getting a haircut, picking up a bag of goodies at the local food coop (a gift from the coop since I was the 1,000 member to become fully-vested), and visiting with friends, both old and new. I came home brimming with energy.

The drop-in class went well. All four students have been studying with Cathy, the T'ai Chi Ch'uan instructor, and they seemed game to learn a different form of T'ai Chi. As it turned out, I was reunited with a long lost acquaintance who moved here from the Twin Cities. Over ten years ago she hired me to teach TCC at a senior retirement home in a Twin Cities suburb and she also took my TCC class several times. So, we meet again.

Most likely because these students have been studying T'ai Chi Ch'uan, they seemed to pick up on the movements more quickly than a typical beginner. That made my job easier. I'll see what happens next week depending upon whether I get any other students dropping down from the heavens.

It's so much fun to share T'ai Chi Chih with others. I'm grateful for every opportunity that presents itself in my life. I don't have my two evening classes tonight because of a conflict with the space where I teach. So, one more TCC class in the AM and I'm done for the week (two instead of three classes this week). Moving together with others is the ultimate treat of my week.

Is there a better way?

2012-02-07T20:14:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow is my first-ever try--after 15 years of teaching T'ai Chi Chih--at teaching a drop-in class. I'm not sure what to expect. I feel a bit nervous. But I also think that everything will be fine as long as I focus on helping students slow down, relax, enjoy, and feel the peace.

The temps are dropping again after days of spring-like weather. This morning I moved slowly; I overdid it yesterday and it took much of the morning for me to regain my energy and pick up my pace. I did a T'ai Chi Chih practice before work (which felt very good!) and I did a mini-practice after I returned home from work.

Tonight we are enjoying a full moon and it's always fun to practice TCC when the sky is clear and the moon is shining its light everywhere. I enjoyed observing the tree shadows on the snow as I watched my own shadow in the darkened window. And now ... I feel deeply relaxed. Is there a better way to finish a day?

Boil, Walk, Work, Practice

2012-02-06T19:53:00.000-06:00

I was up early this morning making all-fruit strawberry jam. What a production! Sugar is so much easier. I don't want sugar in my jam, though, so I boiled apple juice concentrate, blended it with the natural pectin, then added that concoction to boiling strawberries. Boil, boil, boil, boil. I must say that I'd rather be doing all this boiling in the winter than in the middle of summer.

It was another deliciously sunny day and I made a small space in my day to walk the Brownstone Trail before I headed to work. Nice! Then, work, work, work, work.

Immediately after I closed the library I flowed into my T'ai Chi Chih practice. I realized early on that the library may not be the best place to practice; as soon as my mind began to empty, it filled up again with all the business I conducted and then forgot to complete.

It was enjoyable to practice TCC while I was still alert and before I arrived home and saw all the dirty canning equipment I left spread around the kitchen. (Or ... before I flopped into rest mode.)

Up and Running

2012-02-05T19:30:00.000-06:00

I'm back up and running err ... walking today. First off, after suffering with a sick stomach for the past two days, I rose from bed and launched immediately into cooking good healthy food. Mmm. My reward was a delicious lunch of roasted cauliflower, squash, and onion over quinoa polenta.

Since temps were in the mid-40s, Frances and I took a good long walk and then I spent a portion of the afternoon writing--once again!--a bio and course description for five TCC class sessions I start subbing this week. I suppose as long as I teach T'ai Chi Chih I'll be writing bios and course descriptions ad nauseum.

T'ai Chi Chih practice came after dark and after my email with attachment was sent into the ether-world. It's interesting to see how quickly my practice time passes on some days (like today!) compared with other days.

I'm grateful to have my stomach back up and running too (perhaps that's one more reason why my practice passed quickly and easily).

The Dance of Life

2012-02-04T08:05:00.000-06:00

I was up early since I slept a lot over the past few days. It's another beautiful, sunshiney day. My stomach still aches but I now have more energy and wish to move on to the next stage of my recovery.

I did my T'ai Chi Chih practice this morning as a rose-colored glow extended along the horizon from the edges of the earth into the sky. There were no clouds to reflect the morning's colors and I watched as the pink hue was overcome by the bright white light of day.

It was a lovely practice. Starkly beautiful. One still-attached leaf fluttered in the breeze. The branches of a naked, leafless tree further into the forest danced lightly with the wind. And I danced too. The Chi rose and fell, stretched along my limbs, and settled into my center. I began my day with the dance of life....

An Upright Agenda

2012-02-03T16:01:00.000-06:00

Today has been a down day. Literally. I slept, read, and napped all day due to a sick stomach. Finally, midafternoon I began to feel better.

First on my upright agenda: T'ai Chi Chih practice. I practiced in the porch so that I could look out on the beautiful sunny yard and see Ms. Lucy the Goosey standing on the front step. Lucy returned the favor by keeping one of her eyeballs trained on me and my movements through much of the form. I think that it likely felt comforting to her to have me nearby and it certainly felt comforting for me to have her watching me from the other side of the door.

The practice passed quickly and I felt uplifted by the presence of the dog and goose. It's another absolutely gorgeous too-warm winter day and even though I'm not venturing out, I'm grateful to see the shine in the sky and on the earth.

Indescribably Blessed

2012-02-02T14:30:00.000-06:00

Wednesday, February 1, 2012:

Today I slowed into a rest mode during the morning hours. Yesterday was so busy at work that I spent an extra hour after I closed just trying to finish up all my half-done projects. I was exhausted. And, by this morning, I felt as if my health and energy took another downward dip even as I've worked hard to maintain myself.

I was still tired by midafternoon when I left for my two T'ai Chi Chih classes. As usual, though, the sessions helped me to relax and (somewhat) rejuvenate.

It's always wonderful to hear what my students have to say about their experiences with T'ai Chi Chih. One longtime class member mentioned after our practice that she always keeps her attention and visual focus directed straight forward but, at the same time, she maintains her peripheral vision in order to connect with all the others in our circle. She feels her focus helps her keep a connection, both energetic and psychological, with everyone engaged in the practice. How wonderful!

By the time I finished my beginners' class (which, for me, takes significant focus and attention in order to effectively guide first-timers through their initial experiences with learning the form), I was--again--exhausted. I drove home, unloaded the car, and went straight to bed (no passing Go, no collecting $200).

Thursday, February 2, 2012:

I'm still tired. After my morning T'ai Chi Chih class, though, I felt better. This class has continued on for many years. Six? It is by far the longest class I've begun teaching ... and then continued ... and continued some more. There's a kinship, compassion, and caring in this circle that is a wonder to behold.

Of course, every member of this class makes it what it is and I feel thankful for the people who have passed through these classes and incredible gratitude for those who have made a choice to stay with the T'ai Chi Chih practice as the calendar pages turned and the years passed. We all help each other by sharing our energies, our insights, our struggles, and our joys. And, for me, this T'ai Chi Chih class has shown me the healing power of a community that offers each other compassion and acceptance as we travel along our individual and combined paths.

I have been indescribably blessed to share in the Cornucopia of people, ideas, movements, meditations, silence, and sounds (of the creaking wooden floor!?) of this special group of T'ai Chi Chih practitioners. Thank you all....

The Tree

2012-01-31T10:54:00.000-06:00

Frances and I watched The Tree of Life last night and I've been hashing it over in my mind ever since. This movie expects you to think and feel and tussle and struggle to be in the moment. Hmm. That reminds me of T'ai Chi Chih practice.

Tree is the next movie scheduled for our Cinema and Conversation on Saturday night. It's up for Academy Awards for Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Cinematography and, by all accounts, it's created controversy; some people are intrigued; some are bored; some have walked out on it; and others have booed (at the Cannes Film Festival). Obviously, it inspires strong reactions from its viewers and perhaps, that's the point.

My first efforts this morning were focused on researching Terrence Malick, the writer and director of this film. I admit; I was intrigued. It appears there may be autobiographical elements included in this film and there is plenty of space and time (especially at the beginning) to allow the lush visual imagery to impact the senses and invade the heart.

I remained aware of the film throughout my morning T'ai Chi Chih practice as I observed the natural world around me and allowed its beauty and peace inside. The quiet was nurturing (there was no one else awake) and I felt as if I was suspended in a special, untouchable moment of peace.

Settling Down

2012-01-30T20:01:00.000-06:00

Today was so grey, overcast, and dark that it scarcely felt like daytime. On the other hand, we were gifted with a beautiful, soft snowfall and it was warmer than yesterday.

I did my T'ai Chi Chih practice this morning prior to leaving for work and, once again, it helped me get through yet another busy, tumultuous day. Hurrah! Now that I'm home I'll imbibe a few more minutes of TCC practice to help me settle down after the explosion of patron activity that continued until I locked the library doors.

A local business that specializes in body movement, mindfulness, yoga, and various forms of dance recently contacted me to ask whether I could sub for a T'ai Chi Ch'uan instructor who teaches there. It's a wonderful opportunity and I'm grateful for the experience. I do feel that the Universe is providing for me.

Rest, Relax, and Heal

2012-01-29T21:11:00.000-06:00

Today was a Sun-Day and a Day of Rest. I started the day by finishing a book I was reading. I ended the day by making strawberry jam and black beans.

It was a glorious sunshiney day. Colder, but quiet and wind free. I felt better today (a slight sore throat lingers). After darkness arrived I did a T'ai Chi Chih practice with some Seijaku thrown in for good measure.
It's true: I enjoy my practices more when I limit the amount of Seijaku I include (I'm still not expert enough in Seijaku to perform it with no effort).

After my relaxing weekend I'm hopeful that my immune system is tuned up and ready to meet and greet a new work week.

The Right Medicine

2012-01-28T16:16:00.000-06:00

Today I'm focusing on self-care (and I do feel a tiny bit better): good food, a nap, lots of water, and supplements. Before my nap I did ten minutes of Qigong for Cleansing and a full T'ai Chi Chih practice, including Seijaku.

We have friends coming over tonight for dinner and a movie. Before they arrive I plan to do another T'ai Chi Chih practice. And I'm hopeful that a healthy dinner, laughter, and time spent with friends will be just the medicine I need....

Energy Medicine

2012-01-27T18:31:00.000-06:00

I subbed at the library today for my boss who's sick. I, too, feel a soreness in my throat and will consequently do everything in my power to avoid falling ill (there's a lot of stuff going around right now).

First strategy: take more zinc and vitamin C; then, spend more time in my T'ai Chi Chih practice as well as adding on the qigong cleansing routine; next, sleep and lots of it; and, finally, clean up my diet (purify, purify, purify). Today I had a brief TCC practice right before I headed out the door to work and a longer practice when I walked back in the door after work.

Before and after. Beginning of the day and end of the day. Tomorrow I plan to do two to three practices to boost my immune system. I'll see what happens....

Traveling the Path

2012-01-26T16:35:00.000-06:00

This morning's T'ai Chi Chih class was like a reunion; six of our seven class members (myself included) were in attendance. Many residents travel away from the Northland during the winter. Like birds migrating south, People of the Woods enjoy leaving our cold, snowy environment for a brief (or not so brief) respite.

One student just returned from a trip to Norway, Rome, and Naples. Another student is currently residing in Florida for six weeks; yet another leaves for Orlando, FL in February and then heads to Hong Kong with his new wife in early April. Two other students plan to visit their son and his family in Austin, TX in early February. There's only one student in the entire lot who hasn't mentioned a trip. And me? I've had a few winter escapes in the past but this year I'm rooted in place while others travel out of the area.

After our relaxing though not necessarily synchronized practice this morning, we discussed Buddha's Brain. We've made it to Chapter 12, "Blissful Concentration," and, since much of our topic now relates directly to our T'ai Chi Chih practices, we're intent on discussing each minute detail that the authors address. This morning's topic: 'Keeping attention on its object.'

Buddha's Brain's authors write: Imagine a little guardian who watches how well you are watching the breath and gives your attention a boost if it starts to flag. This guardian 'lives' mainly in the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), which compares actual performance with a goal.... (p. 194)

We spent our entire discussion on this one short passage from the book (and, I might add, had plenty to say about it). This in-depth discussion set me to wondering: What is your goal in your T'ai Chi Chih practice? Why do you do a practice? What do you hope to gain from it? Where and what do you focus on in the midst of your movements?

During our lifetimes we're all traveling a path of exploration, growth, and adventure. T'ai Chi Chih reminds us that no matter where we roam, the perfect place for us to be is right here in the present moment. Here. Now. When we're rooted in the present, we're nested in a space that's restful, rejuvenative, and ultimately perfect. Florida. Norway. Texas. Hong Kong. Or, even, snowy Wisconsin. We're home....

Benefits Galore

2012-01-25T21:50:00.000-06:00

Today was stressful, but the lumps and bumps smoothed out during my two evening T'ai Chi Chih classes (a total of two hours of movement). By the time I reached home my one and only goal was to head for bed (it's interesting to note how stress can lead to extreme tiredness, especially when the cause of the stress is alleviated).

I did a ten-minute qigong cleansing earlier in the afternoon that pointed me in the right direction (i.e., toward peacefulness and detachment). My two evening classes, however, were so relaxing that I'm currently on the verge of sleep even as I sit semi-upright in front of the computer screen.

I came. I taught. I relaxed. I returned home. I can only hope that my students experienced even a modicum of the benefits that I accumulated from tonight's practices. It's such a wonderful gift to be able to share this practice with others. And ... I am blessed.

Short and Sweet

2012-01-24T19:22:00.000-06:00

Monday, January 23, 2012:

Due to lack of time I did two T'ai Chi Chih practices today: an abbreviated ten minute AM round and another abbreviated ten minute PM round. Both practices were short and sweet (and helped to calm me). Unfortunately, by the time I finished my evening practice I was ready for bed and didn't have the patience to wait for my computer to restart (it was refusing to bring up any websites due to an Internet Explorer slow down).

Since both my computer and I were overloaded I headed to bed. (My computer, on the other hand, restarted and went to work under Frances's fingertips.)

Tuesday, January 24, 2012:

Today was another day of short, abbreviated TCC practices. During my hectic morning routine I still took time to do a brief practice which, again, helped prepare me for a busy work-filled day.

Tonight, when I arrive home from work, I'll do another short practice to sweep off the days' excesses. There's nothing better than that....

Sweeping

2012-01-22T19:27:00.001-06:00

Sweeping the front porch every morning is an important cleansing ritual that prepares the ground for new energy. In some of our lives, sweeping has become an activity performed without much thought. In many cases, sweeping is a lost art, replaced by the noisy, efficient vacuum cleaner. But in several cultures and religions, sweeping the front and back porch every morning is regarded as an important cleansing ritual that prepares the ground for new energy on every level—physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.
From: Daily OM (thank you David and Susan)

I received the above quote (the Daily OM) today from a long-time T'ai Chi Chih student who received it from his fiance. He mentioned that it reminded him of the sixth and final healing sound in T'ai Chi Chih practice: Chui (kidneys). As soon as I read his comment I thought: Yes! When we perform Chui (five repetitions), it does feel like we're sweeping, cleansing, and preparing the way for something new.

During this evening's T'ai Chi Chih practice I realized that the Healing Sounds (Chui) aren't the only place in the TCC form where we experience the sensation of sweeping. Take, for example, Perpetual Motion Taffy and Passing Clouds. Though there is more of a feeling of circularity and continuity in each of these movements as compared to the execution of Chui, I also experienced a definite sense of stirring, moving, and/or activating the energy.

Huh. Food for thought. During upcoming practices I know that I will experience each of these movements with a new awareness. And who knows where that openness and exploration will lead me?

Soup, Cinema, and T'ai Chi Chih

2012-01-21T23:55:00.000-06:00

It's been a long busy day. Most of it was spent prepping for tonight's "Soup and Cinema." (Thank you for the title, David.)

Before I sped off to Wild by Nature where our event was held, I dropped out of the rush and flurry and practiced T'ai Chi Chih. That helped.

I think because I did my practice I was more able to be fully present for the people, the food, the conversation, and the film. And here I am: back home again, tired but happy.

Beauty Everywhere (even on the coldest of days)

2012-01-20T17:39:00.000-06:00

The cold continued today under a bright blue sky. I occupied myself indoors until late afternoon when I ventured out to carry in firewood and sprinkle full cans of ashes onto the pure white snow. The temps hovered slightly above zero when I emerged into the stimulating clean, clear air. It was a refreshing interlude in my intensive-effort-to-keep-warm day.

I practiced T'ai Chi Chih with new music I received in today's mail delivery: Marina Raye's Beauty Everywhere. Raye plays native flutes to accompany the sound of ocean waves and the songs of Humpback Whales. It's a slow and delightfully relaxing CD.

I found my mind wandering throughout this afternoon's TCC practice. I think it's a case of too much to do, too little time.

Still, I listened to a public radio show (Science Friday) earlier in the day that highlighted the importance of mindfulness and its ability to improve focus and productivity. And so it goes.... I continue on with my practice day after day; some days I feel focused and others days I'm scattered. And there are other days when I'm simply swinging in the trees with all the other Monkey Minds.

Serendipity

2012-01-19T17:42:00.000-06:00

I cancelled my morning T'ai Chi Chih class after two students called in sick (two others are currently out of town and the other two and myself would have driven in 25 degree below windchill to hold our class session).

Unfortunately, one of my students didn't get the cancellation message until he arrived at the class location. When he returned my calls, I asked him to come to my house for a joint T'ai Chi Chih practice. And so, a potentially disappointing outcome transformed into a wonderful combination practice/getting-to-know-you-better session.

The two of us practiced along with Justin Stone's DVD teacher practice and then sat for a conversation that lasted well over three hours (I had no idea!). What a delightful way to spend a too-cold day!

And now, it's time to focus on feeding two wood stoves in order to make it through a too-cold night....

Qigong for Cleansing

2012-01-18T09:49:00.000-06:00

Yes, temperatures are in the single digits and clouds drape the sky, but there are hints of blue peeping through clouds and vestiges of light along the horizon so the day feels bright. May this day be filled with light and lightness!

Tonight I teach two back-to-back T'ai Chi Chih classes. With that in mind, I did not do a morning TCC practice; instead, I practiced Qigong for Cleansing for ten minutes. Francesco and Daisy Lee Garripoli developed this qigong practice (exercises and breathing meant to stimulate and improve the qi/chi energy field). I taught myself the movements several years ago and then let the practice fade into the background of my life.

Recently I unearthed the DVD and decided that it was time to re-enter this routine and reinvigorate myself with its slow meditative stretches and breathing patterns. The film is inspiring as it's set in an alpine meadow in the Rocky Mountains. And the Garripolis are obviously masters of this form they've developed. Though the movements are relatively simple (as is T'ai Chi Chih), the anticipated effects are tremendous (as are the results of engaging in a TCC practice):

Circulate Qi (energy) to rejuvenate your entire body
Revitalize key organs (lung, heart, liver, stomach, intestines, kidneys and gall bladder) responsible for removing toxins
Soothe your nervous system so it releases feel-good chemicals instead of stress hormones
Restore mental clarity by harmonizing right and left brain
Eliminate anxiety and center yourself through an energy-balancing move you can use anytime, anywhere
From: Qigong for Cleansing DVD case

The above list articulates the positive effects that can be gained from a multitude of qigong practices (T'ai Chi Chih, T'ai Chi Ch'uan, and any other Qigong form). Still, it's nice to occasionally practice a different form, especially since I'll submerge myself in teaching the T'ai Chi Chih form several times over this evening. I'm looking forward to it!

Building the Energy

2012-01-17T12:41:00.000-06:00

For the next few days we're headed toward the deep freeze with temps in the single digits and below zero. Then, by the weekend, it's predicted that we'll be back up to the low 30s. Needless to say, the current community conversation is that we'll have no ice road to Madeline Island this winter.

I had a slow start to the day. I missed last night's movie (American Outrage, 2008) but arrived in time for the Conversation Cafe that followed. It was a painful discussion since the documentary was about two aging Western Shoshone sisters who had their horses and cattle confiscated by federal marshals for the crime of grazing them on the open range outside their private ranch. One minor problem: that range is recognized by the U.S. as Western Shoshone land.

The real reason for the harrassment of the Dann sisters eventually emerged: the government wished to secure lands containing the second largest gold producing area in the world. As Eric Cheyfitz, director of the American Indian Program, Cornell University, states on the DVD case: This "eloquent testament to the courage of the Dann sisters" is "an important document for those who want to understand the ongoing resistance of Native peoples to U.S. colonialism in Indian country."

Through our movie and discussion nights we're discovering that it's important to share information, engage in conversation, and educate ourselves and each other about the ways in which the government supports the rights of corporations over the rights of its citizens. As our resources decline, this fact becomes more and more obvious. It's also obvious that it's important for all U.S. citizens to become more educated, active, and inclusive of others (especially those who have less of a voice in this culture).

So, it was a long day yesterday which led to my slow beginnings today. I did my T'ai Chi Chih practice late morning in order to energize and gear myself up for my afternoon at the library. I do feel better and more prepared for whatever comes during the remainder of this day. And so, I'm off....

All Good

2012-01-16T12:25:00.000-06:00

Frances was stressed out this morning due to her planned soup-movie-discussion event scheduled for this evening at Wild by Nature in downtown Bayfield. Consequently, I was the one who did a T'ai Chi Chih practice. I'm highly sensitive to other people's emotions and energies and so, one way I've found to cope with that ultra-sensitivity is to use my TCC practice as a calming/centering tool for myself.

Yes, Frances would have likely benefited from a TCC practice herself, but she uses other ways to focus and center. And, in a situation like this morning, I've come to realize that high stress levels actually help to motivate and activate Frances's organize and do mode.

My practice was just what I needed to calm myself even though I realized that I was continuing to travel down a high-speed highway. Still, these minutes of practice will help to get me through my busy workday. And that's all good.

Going Off-Line

2012-01-16T00:39:00.000-06:00

Saturday, January 14, 2012, 5:30 p.m.

Given the amount of energy--or lack thereof--that I woke up with this morning I determined that today would be a day of rest. And, other than my "chop wood, carry water" activities (carrying in firewood and feeding a woodstove throughout the day, washing dishes, and cooking), I napped, read, and enjoyed the quiet.

I even shortened my T'ai Chi Chih practice (20 minutes instead of 30). And, because I couldn't bear the idea of turning on the computer, I wrote down my blog in my journal. I believe that we all need breaks from technology (it keeps us sane and humane) and a half-hour daily T'ai Chi Chih practice just isn't enough time spent off the grid (of electricity, communication, and responsibilities).

It felt great to slow down today and I'm inclined to extend my day of rest into tomorrow. We'll see what the sunrise brings into my world in the morning....

Sunday, January 15, 2012

I spent another day in peaceful relaxation. My major accomplishments included cooking a double batch of quinoa stew, hauling in three sleds of firewood (and splitting said wood), and indulging myself in lengthy phone conversations with my sister and one brother.

My evening T'ai Chi Chih practice was obviously relaxing; I lay down on the bed after practice to meditate and woke almost four hours later. Now it's early the next day....

Trust What Needs to be Said and Done

2012-01-13T17:21:00.000-06:00

I did another T'ai Chi Chih practice with Vic, Connie, Suni, and Rhonda early this morning. They're the four accredited TCC teachers who flow through the group practice at the end of Justin Stone's T'ai Chi Chih DVD. And it's such fun to join them when they're projected up on a five-by-seven foot screen.

It was a terrific way to start my day as I was feeling slightly anxious about a forthcoming phone call. And, sure enough, my TCC practice set the tone for a more relaxed, compassionate conversation.

Whenever I begin new classes (as I did this week), I always require extra time to prepare. I guess you could say that I'm writing my lesson plan even though it's not written down and, truth be told, it's not planned either since I rely on the Chi to guide me in my class format and instruction. Still, I review teaching materials, background information, and handouts to refresh my memory regarding particular elements of T'ai Chi Chih I'd like to mention. And then, when I'm in class teaching, I literally go with the flow when I move my body and when I move my mouth.

It's a liberating experience to trust that what needs to be said and done will present itself as needed. And, I might add, I wasn't capable of practicing this particular style of teaching when I first became a T'ai Chi Chih teacher some 15 years ago. What a gift to let go of perfectionism and expectations. Life is simpler ... and so much more enjoyable.

Into the Heart

2012-01-12T17:09:00.000-06:00

The T'ai Chi Chih class sessions last night were wonderful. After our continuing class practice--the energy in the circle was absolutely fabulous--I asked our group of seven: Isn't it terrific that, even when we make mistakes in our practice, we do so with grace? (And I wasn't simply referring to physical grace; I was also thinking of the mental/emotional/spiritual balance we learn from our practices that helps us accept our mistakes and imperfections with 'grace' instead of self-blame or irritation.)

The beginning class was filled beyond its maximum capacity and enrolled students seemed to have more experience with, and interest in, meditation, chi flow, and the like. That makes teaching easier for me because students are open and responsive to the hidden (or not-so-hidden) potentials of activating, balancing, and circulating the Chi. To the beginners I said: I can't convince you of the healing powers and benefits of T'ai Chi Chih; you need to practice to experience the cumulative benefits of this moving meditation for yourself.

This morning's class practice began late due to the winter-like (shock!) weather conditions. I traveled 40 mph to class and the three students who arrived were 10 to 20 minutes late. It was tense driving and I could feel the tension during the first portion of our practice. Eventually it faded away as our minds and bodies relaxed and became more attuned to each other.

During our post-practice discussion of Buddha's Brain, Chapter 12, "Blissful Concentration," I asked students to articulate how T'ai Chi Chih practice helps us strengthen our attention when considering the five key factors that Buddhism teaches for steadying the mind (p. 193):

Applied attention--initial directing of attention to an object, such as the beginning of the breath

Sustained attention--staying focused on the object of attention, such as remaining aware of an entire inhalation from beginning to end

Rapture--intense interest in the object; sometimes experienced as a rush of blissful sensations

Joy--gladdening of the heart that includes happiness, contentment, and tranquility

Singleness of mind--unification of awareness in which everything is experienced as a whole; few thoughts; equanimity; a strong sense of being present

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. T'ai Chi Chih moving meditation helps us to experience all of these aspects of mindfulness and, as the authors of Buddha's Brain assert, With practice, concentration naturally deepens for most people (Lutz, Slager, et al. 2008). (p. 193)

I was particularly struck by the fact that the fourth item mentioned in this list was "joy" since Justin Stone named this form: T'ai Chi Chih Joy Thru Movement. When I see the smiling faces of my students at the end of each practice, I know without a doubt that this moving meditation has traveled beyond the mind, through the body, and into the heart....

T'ai Chi Chih to the Rescue

2012-01-11T15:43:00.000-06:00

Winter is settling in once again. As temperatures begin to fall, so does the snow. Rain dripped and dropped from the sky earlier in the day, then transitioned to sleet, and finally, snow. It's grey and overcast; the dog and cat--evidentally--have decided to spend the day napping. (Yes, it looks appealing.)

Tonight I teach two T'ai Chi Chih classes. It's been a year since I taught a beginning class and I feel a bit nervous. What to do? Practice T'ai Chi Chih. I did a ten minute practice before I left home to drive to class. I'll likely do another short practice before my first class begins at 5:30. All told, I'll be moving in slow-flow motion for at least one-and-a-half to two hours today.

It's all good.

I got lost in the woods this morning and felt grateful for my years of T'ai Chi Chih practice which kept me from going into total panic mode. It was interesting to observe myself and realize how quickly Monkey Mind convinced me that the next logical step was for me to hike further into the woods, go into a low blood sugar, and then wander aimlessly.

Instead, I slowed myself down, stopped, thought, asked for help, and, very soon, I heard the sound of a car driving by and was able to shift my direction slightly and head for the road. Indeed, I was in a low blood sugar by the time I made it back to the house, but I was safe and I had access to food to treat my insulin reaction. T'ai Chi Chih meditation to the rescue once again!

What's Wrong? What Can We Do?

2012-01-10T09:34:00.000-06:00

Why is it that some days seem boring and other days are filled with thoughts, emotions, energy, and action?

Of course, any time I begin preparations for a new T'ai Chi Chih beginners' class I overflow with examples of what to do and what to say. There are so many ideas to express about this practice, so many benefits to share, that I sometimes feel as though I'm at a loss for words. Where do I begin?

I did this morning's T'ai Chi Chih practice with the teachers from Albuquerque, NM (at the end of Justin Stone's DVD). It's the first time I've practiced using our DVD player/projector/five-by-seven foot screen. It was fabulous! I didn't have to imagine that I was part of this group of four because the teachers were, quite literally, almost as tall as me.

It's been some time since I practiced with Stone's DVD and it's always good to return to it to clarify timing, movements, and other particulars of the practice. I realized, for instance, that I tend to move more slowly between movements to allow my students time to transition from Resting Position into whichever movement comes next. I'm guessing that the videotaped teachers move more slowly, too, when they teach a class.

Interestingly, Frances and I watched a new library DVD last night: I Am. It follows the journey of Hollywood director, Tom Shadyac (he directed Nutty Professor and Bruce Almighty, to name a few of his films). After Shadyac was in a bicycle accident and experienced a life threatening head injury, he began a journey of self-discovery that resulted in this film. He asked leading authors, scientists, religious leaders, teachers, and writers two questions: What's wrong with our world? and What can we do about it?

The discussions, explorations, and information that flowed from this movie are inspiring and thought-provoking. And much of what I saw and heard in I Am reminded me of what I and my students are striving to accomplish through our practice of T'ai Chi Chih moving meditation: to open our hearts to love, compassion, and acceptance. This movie shows that what we do makes a difference in our own lives and the lives of others; that is why I teach T'ai Chi Chih ... I want to be a part of a healthier, happier, more peaceful world.

Quiet Observations

2012-01-09T09:09:00.001-06:00

Yes! The number of students enrolling in my beginning T'ai Chi Chih class set to start Wednesday continues to expand (which is great).

I did my T'ai Chi Chih practice after sunrise today; it was so cloudy that there was no explosion of color to watch on the horizon. Nevertheless, we've miraculously ended up with blue skies and full sun. Hurrah! I'm inspired to take a walk in the warmth and sunshine as soon as I write my blog.

During today's practice I watched a mouse rush across the ground outside the windows and hide itself at the base of a nearby tree. Typically I simply don't spend much time quietly observing my environment so it was a treat (I know, that sounds odd!) to see the little mouse.

Again today I practiced focusing on my heart center as I moved; per Joan Borysenko, I inhaled earth and sky energy into my heart and exhaled it out to the edges of the Universe. It's a helpful strategy to increase energy flow and build a sense of unity and oneness with all the life forms that surround me.

I am grateful for my life and for this practice....

Power within Our Souls

2012-01-08T19:24:00.000-06:00

Last night's potluck, movie, and (Conversation Cafe) discussion were wonderful. It was incredibly inspiring to watch a group of women in Liberia (Pray the Devil Back to Hell) transform their war-torn country into a place of peace and hope.

I was impressed with Leymah Gbowee, the unintended leader of this women' peace movement, whose willingness to follow a dream--literally--inspired others to follow their own dreams for peace and prosperity. The backstory of their success hinged on the fact that they started this movement in their churches first (Christian and Muslim) and strengthened their efforts with huge doses of outreach, strategy, and prayers. It was obvious that these women were willing to let go of their egos in order to achieve a common, heartfelt goal: PEACE.

A Desmond Tutu quote on the DVD case said of the film:

[It] Eloquently captures the power each of us innately has within our souls to make this world a far better, safer, more peaceful place.

Yes! And, naturally, this inner power is made manifest when we engage our body/minds in a daily practice of T'ai Chi Chih moving meditation. When we create peace within, that peacefulness can circulate out into the world beyond us.

This morning I practiced T'ai Chi Chih outside. It was 25 degrees and totally still; I couldn't resist the light, warmth (?), and peace that emanated from the woods. Lucy bathed as I moved through the form and I focused on practicing Joan Borysenko's Breath Bridging Earth and Sky. (I inhaled the earth and sky energies into my heart area and then exhaled the energy into the world around me ... it felt so good to engage my intention on creating a more peaceful self/world.

The World is a Reflection of Ourselves

2012-01-07T13:42:00.000-06:00

It's movie night at the Winter-Johnson residence! Tonight's showing: Pray the Devil Back to Hell, an extraordinary documentary about ordinary Liberian women who worked for peace in their country while living in the midst of war.

Of course, on the day of each movie showing we busily clean, cook, and make room in our house for 12-15 people; today is no different. I was up at 5:30 a.m. and immediately launched into dishes and cat boxes. By late morning I was ready for T'ai Chi Chih, and I timed my practice to coincide with Frances's trip to the dump and the Bayfield Library. Ahh. It's quiet. No vacuum cleaner noise, no phone calls, no frantic rush to organize piles of papers (at least for the moment).

Yesterday's melt turned to ice overnight so I watched out the window as the chicken gingerly picked her way around the yard near the house. Lucy the goose already stood guard on the front step. Practice time flew by and it took some effort on my part to slow my body-mind after a morning of nonstop action.

Frances and I are both hopeful that tonight's movie will be an inspiration to all who see it, especially as our town gears up for its annual caucus this week. It's time for a change and we all need to be reminded that, by changing ourselves, we can effect change in others.

The world is a reflection of ourselves. What we see without is an accurate measure of what we are within. If there is serenity inside, the outside world seems friendly. When we go to a strange place with our hands outstretched and open, willing to offer whatever we have to give, the reception is warm, we make new friends, and life is joyous. But if we grasp, if we manipulate and exploit, the result is different. Our vibration is changed, our appearance is uninviting, and we repel others.
-- Justin Stone, Climb the Joyous Mountain: Living the Meditative Way
From: Sr. Antonia's January 2012 Newsletter

Grace and Flow ... Where did you go?

2012-01-06T20:48:00.000-06:00

Look in thy heart,
and Write.

So sayeth Sir Philip Sydney in this section of my journal where I've turned the page to write my blog. Frances is composing emails on the computer and, since I'm an "early is better" (a.k.a., "early to bed'er"), I'm handwriting my blog while thoughts are fresh and before I'm overcome by tiredness.

Today was overfull with phone calling, wood splitting and stacking, and editing. I spoke with several potential T'ai Chi Chih students and, by day's end, I received an email informing me that two of my three winter TCC classes are set to begin on Wednesday; one class still needs two registrations to qualify as a "go."

I worked really hard and spent hours on the phone and writing emails to recruit students and now ... "Whatever will be, will be...."

Today was yet another beautiful, warm, sunny day. Dark splotches of earth are emerging as the snow melts. I worked outside in shirt sleeves today--probably a first-ever experience for the month of January after having lived my entire life in Minnesota and Wisconsin.

I practiced TCC in front of a dark bedroom window tonight and looked--to my mind--a little wobbly. My back is sore after several days of hauling wood so that may account for the less than graceful movements.

It's time for me to practice with the Albuquerque teachers on Justin Stone's DVD just to get my body and head back on track (or in the flow). And then--then--I'll be ready to teach another beginning TCC class mid-week.

This is the Best Season of Your Life

2012-01-05T16:25:00.001-06:00

What a beautiful, sunshine-filled day! And warm.... I just finished a phone conversation with one of my brothers who lives near Rochester, MN; he said it was close to 60 degrees there. Here in the Bayfield area we're in the 30s and the snow resting on our metal roof is melting, softening, and sliding to the ground.

Unfortunately, I've been working indoors all day but plan to take a walk down the driveway before night falls. I did my T'ai Chi Chih practice earlier this morning but now, hours later, it feels as though a full day has passed.

I'm currently in the midst of passing the word about my upcoming T'ai Chi Chih classes scheduled to begin next week. With the changing economy I need to meet strict enrollment minimums or the classes will cancel and, at this point, I have one of three classes filled. I'm considering whether it's time for me to change up my teaching arrangements; perhaps I need to work closer to home and/or try to reach a different audience. I'll let these thoughts rest in my consciousness for a time and see whether a solution reveals itself....

Ten thousand flowers in spring
The moon in autumn,
A cool breeze in summer
Snow in winter.
If your mind isn't clouded by
unnecessary things,
This is the best season of your life.

-- Wu-men
From: Sr. Antonia's Jan. 2012 T'ai Chi Chih Newsletter

Our Mission

2012-01-04T11:17:00.000-06:00

The morning sky was glorious and sun-filled; but, all-too-quickly its beauty was smothered by clouds. Yes, it's warmer today but far more gray than yesterday. Still, I did my T'ai Chi Chih practice as the last of a lovely sunrise glimmered over the lake.

I had a relaxing, enjoyable practice. The dog observed me occasionally as he dozed on a chair nearby while the soon-to-disappear sun reflected in a window on the porch and warmed my inner self. I followed my moving meditation with a five minute seated meditation and soon felt deeply content.

I read Sr. Antonia's January 2012 Newsletter last night. She mentioned that the T'ai Chi Chih community now has a mission statement meant to reflect the values and focus of our organization. It reads:

The International T'ai Chi Chih Community of students and accredited teachers is dedicated to the personal practice of T'ai Chi Chih, and to sharing with the world this form of moving meditation and its benefits, affecting body, mind, and spirit.

Justin Stone, T'ai Chi Chih's creator, asked our guide, Sr. Antonia to "Unite the Teachers." This mission statement comes out of that request.

Sister invited teachers to dedicate our practices to Gratitude during the month of January and to focus our attention on the words and intent contained within our newly-minted mission statement. I was reminded of yesterday's blog in which I wrote about the 12 Insights of the Celestine Prophesy. It certainly seems that Sr. Antonia is tuned into those insights in her direct request to us to set our intention on co-creating a world in which we all wish to live.

Insights (Twelve)

2012-01-03T10:47:00.000-06:00

The holidays are over and it's back to business as usual. Or is it?

Last night Frances and I watched the movie The Celestine Prophecy. Based on James Redfield's best-selling novel by the same name, it follows the path of an out-of-work teacher who begins to pursue the synchronicities in his life. His journey leads him to Peru in search of nine ancient scrolls containing key insights that predict a worldwide spiritual awakening. Though the story is fictionalized, the prophesies that Redfield outlines seem all too real.

I read this book shortly after it was published in 1993. It was fascinating. At that time I'd been practicing T'ai Chi Ch'uan for six years, had studied first degree Reiki, and was on the verge of another discovery: T'ai Chi Chih moving meditation. Watching this book set to film after so many years of my own continued exploration and spiritual searching was delightful. Now, as a 15-year teacher and practitioner of T'ai Chi Chih, I can more easily understand the insights that Redfield describes.

Redfield has since expanded the insights to 12. While all relate to the TCC practice we're doing and the people we're becoming as a result of our practices, there are three insights in particular that highlighted my experiences in the TCC classroom:

          Fifth Insight: Insecurity and violence ends when we experience an inner connection with divine energy within.... A sensation of lightness--buoyancy--along with the constant sensation of love are measures of this connection.
          Eighth Insight: We can increase the frequency of guiding coincidences by uplifting every person that comes into our lives....Uplifting others is especially effective in groups where each member can feel the energy of all the others.
          Eleventh Insight: We are finding that faith power, positive thinking, and the power of prayer build a field of intention which moves out from us and can be extended and strengthened, especially when we connect with others in a common vision [paraphrased].
          From: http://www.celestinevision.com/

Yes. Yes. And yes. Why do I continue my T'ai Chi Chih practice each day? In part, it's due to the "sensation of lightness--buoyancy--along with the constant sensation of love" that is a direct result of a TCC practice. My continuing students often comment on how much better they feel after a practice (Fifth Insight). When we practice TCC in unison and unity, we are--intentionally or not--uplifting ourselves and all members of the group as we feel the change in energy that every one of us experiences (Eighth Insight). Moving together with the intention to relax, slow, and bring ourselves into the present moment is a highly effective way to create and make manifest our common desire to treat ourselves and each other with loving kindness as we co-create a more compassionate and peaceful world (Eleventh Insight).

If we intend and attend to the vision that we are each in this world to create a more peaceful, happy, and healthy world, then T'ai Chi Chih practice is one tremendously helpful and healthful step in that direction. And, to that end, I did my TCC practice this morning as the colors of sunrise faded into the horizon, then quietly sat to absorb the energy of earth and sky. Ahhh. Such peace.

Each Day is a New Beginning

2012-01-02T17:23:00.001-06:00

A fresh attitude starts to happen when we look to see that yesterday was yesterday, and now it is gone; today is today and now it is new. It is like that--every hour, every minute is changing. If we stop observing change, then we stop seeing everything as new.

--Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche
From: The Places that Scare You, by Pema Chodron, p. 17

The above quote reminds me of a radio interview I heard last week. The interviewee stated that it wasn't important to her to celebrate New Year's Eve because people tend to overemphasize that one day of the year as they resolve to change or improve their lives. Each day, she reminded listeners, is a new beginning.

That's a wonderful way to think about time; it also offers us the opportunity to take personal responsibility for staying in the present moment. Of course, T'ai Chi Chih practice can be a tool for accomplishing that goal. Still, each practice is different. And, as I noticed during my practice this afternoon, some days it's easier to abide in the present and other days it's a challenge to keep the mind focused for one single endless minute.

With the onset of a new year the temperatures have dropped (tonight's low is predicted to be four degrees) and I spend a lot of my time and attention just trying to stay warm. Instead of chop wood, carry water, my daily activities are focused around carry wood, stack wood, and insert wood into stove. Over and over and over again. Some days there's a wonderful comfort that comes from that routine and, on others, it's simply a chore.

Naturally, it's important to treasure every moment although we tend to take too many hours of our lives for granted. During a conversation with a 93-year-old friend today I mentioned that my days pass more and more quickly and, as a result, the years do too. He readily agreed.

May the coming year be filled with precious moments, hours, days, weeks, and months for us all....

Heaven on Earth

2012-01-01T12:10:00.000-06:00

Saturday, December 31, 2011:

(For whatever reason, I can't get our computer online today, so I wrote this blog entry in my journal.)

I began this final day of 2011 with a sunrise T'ai Chi Chih practice. Of course, I didn't see the sun (too many clouds), but I was overcome by the startling colors. It was gorgeous and astounding. Who can feel mad/sad/bad when the heavens are aflame?

Later in the day I saw one of my T'ai Chi Chih students at the grocery store and I told her about my morning practice. She was inspired by the idea of moving to the morning colors and said, "We'll see what tomorrow morning brings."

I thought more today about Friday's radio conversation on willpower. The interviewee mentioned that energy definitely affects willpower which explains why people are more able to accomplish goals in the morning than later in the day when they're tired. I could certainly relate to that concept from my own personal experience. It is much easier for me to make healthy food choices and avoid snacking in the mornings; by evening, though, my energy's low and I don't have the same energy to resist temptation and/or not-so-healthy foods.

The same holds true for TCC practice, I'm sure. That's why Justin Stone suggests that we practice right after we rise in the mornings (that way, we'll be sure to get our practices done).

Right at the moment I'm struggling with my willpower. Frances and I are invited to a New Year's Eve potluck/party and, since I was up at 5:30 this morning, I'm ready to settle in for the night rather than venture out. Hmm. What will happen? I'm sure I won't be up too late so perhaps I can go to eat dinner at least....

Happy New Year--2012 is at the door!

Sunday, January 1, 2012:

Our new year begins with a fresh coat of snow; the woods is covered in a lovely draping of white. (High winds are predicted to begin later today.) I launched into my T'ai Chi Chih practice this morning while the snow was still newly fallen, the day just begun. There was so much energy in my hands, I could feel it as I moved and when I settled into Resting Position. Why, I asked myself yet again, do I always feel a flood of energy after a rainfall or snowfall? An idea popped into my head: Because the snow has brought with it some of the heavenly (yin) energy.

Sure, that's a possibility. Then again, perhaps I'm more open and aware of myself and my bodily sensations after a rain or snowstorm, when the barometric pressure shifts, or who knows what. The reason really doesn't matter one whit. What matters is that I can sense the energy, it feels good, and I enjoy practicing TCC when I'm so intimately connected to the Chi. (And, of course, I like the symbolism of yin energy coming to earth or, shall I say, Heaven on Earth.)

I had a wonderful time conversing with neighbors and community members last night. The feeling of community revived me until my energy abandoned me around 11:00 p.m. What a wonderful way to begin another new year ... surrounded by the warmth of neighbors, food, conversation, and a sense of belonging. Who could ask for more?

Hooray for Willpower

2011-12-30T19:13:00.001-06:00

Today I finished reading my first e-book on a Kindle. It was okay; but, I admit, I'm a sucker for printed books that I can touch, open and close, and know exactly where I am in the book. Though I can download the books at work and read them at home, I cannot sinc to the last page read, get a description of the book, or perform other electronic functions that require a wireless connection because I live without wireless internet (actually, I live beyond the realm of cell phone reception). That's okay with me, but it also reminds me that a print book is more appropriate reading material for the middle of the woods.

I did today's T'ai Chi Chih practice on the porch after Frances and I spent several hours sledding and wheelbarrowing in firewood from the forest. When night fell, I moved to the porch and practiced in the dark with a light on in the dining room behind me. There were many different versions of myself to observe: I watched my reflection in the windows, saw my shadow on the walls of the porch, and noticed another shadow of my head and shoulders on the white snow outside. (All of these diverse representations of me looked marvelous, darling....)

There was no color in the sky and no visible sunrise to inspire me to perform a break-of-day TCC practice today. It was merely grey, overcast, cloudy. When I heard a late afternoon radio show about a new book, Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, I thought a lot about how each day's TCC practice (or any attempt at self-care) takes dedication and willpower to perform. The author mentioned that it's best to start with just one habit you'd like to establish and ... you guessed it, practice.

It's true that my daily TCC practices (and blogs) are easier to do now that I've created a regular routine and expectation that these rituals are a standard part of each and every day. And I do believe that, despite occasional dark and unmotivated days, I'm a better, happier person because I've developed some smidgen of willpower to get me to--and through--each T'ai Chi Chih practice. Hooray for that!

Monkey Mindlessness

2011-12-29T19:16:00.000-06:00

Whew. What a day. I've been tired and grumpy and generally anti-social--obviously I'm in desperate need of a break from all manner of person and responsibility--all day.

So it was no surprise that Monkey Mind was at the top of her form when it came to talking me out of my daily T'ai Chi Chih practice. Still, I didn't allow her to succeed. Late in the afternoon I roused myself from my first day of Kindle-induced stupor and entered into practice.

Oh, it felt good to move slowly, intentionally, energetically. I didn't make it through an entire practice but spent about 20 minutes in slow motion. I do feel better. And I'm grateful that I have the time and opportunity to indulge myself in a full-day break from life. Tomorrow, I'm convinced, will be better. And, in the interim, I'm learning how to use a Kindle.

Free at Last

2011-12-28T20:38:00.000-06:00

I worked a full day at the library today. It was so busy that, on several occasions, patrons were patiently (and, perhaps, impatiently) lined up waiting for service.

By late afternoon the traffic at the counter had slowed; enough so, that my coworker and I took out our Kindles to familiarize ourselves with them. These e-Books will soon be in circulation through our library and it's our responsibility to know how they function in order to assist our patrons. It's a slow process to get the jist of these technological advances, but we both felt more knowledgeable at the end of the work day.

Midday one of our regular patrons brought in single-serving cherry pies that she baked for an event yesterday. The leftovers didn't fit in her freezer and she generously donated them to the library (just one more fundraising opportunity). Kathy is well-known in Bayfield as our premier local baker; she sells homemade breads and other baked goods at our weekly Farmers' Market as well as at several cafes. Her thoughtful gift is just one example of the many ways people in our community work to support the library.

I came home tired, but happy. Soon I swung into my T'ai Chi Chih practice; it was wonderful. I felt loads of energy in the palms of my hands and an easy flow in my movements. Plus, the busyness of the day slipped gracefully from my shoulders. Ahhh. Free at last....

Going Through the Motions

2011-12-27T19:50:00.000-06:00

There was no color in the morning sky today. Just heavy, dark clouds and sinking temperatures.

I practiced T'ai Chi Chih after a phone conversation with my editing client and before I went to work at the library. It was one of those going-through-the-motions kind of days. I came, I practiced, I finished, and I left.

Work was steady at the library but not overwhelming. It was just the right amount of activity to keep me occupied after my over-the-top allergic reaction yesterday. And so, the end of 2011 draws nigh....

Lightening Up

2011-12-26T15:15:00.000-06:00

Today I began my T'ai Chi Chih practice early, before the sky's blush of radiant pink expanded and transformed into orange, lavender, peach, and then gradually lightened into baby blue, and finally, glowing white. I watched the cascades of color throughout my practice until--ta da!--the fullness of day had arrived.

Someone at yesterday's Christmas breakfast mentioned that in Norway, after weeks of darkness, when the sun reappears (even though it's only for a few minutes as it breaches the horizon and then disappears) the Norwegian people rush outside to watch the sun rise and fall. They raise their hands in front of their faces, thumbs and forefingers touching, to create a circular shape in which to capture the rays of the sun. Then, they simply cheer and holler. "People in Norway have a different relationship to the sun than we Americans do," the storyteller affirmed.

Living here on a peninsula that juts into Lake Superior I, too, can relate to that deep desire to absorb and embody the sun's rays. Thank goodness we still have about eight hours of daylight during the depths of winter here, but we also have day upon day of grey, overcast skies. Truthfully, it can be SAD.

Glorious sunshine beamed through the day today though it was accompanied by a frighteningly strong, roaring wind. Branches tumbled from the sky and the goose and chicken seemed leery of their surroundings when I opened the door to let the dog outside.

I spent the day resting and recouperating from whatever odd allergic reaction I acquired yesterday. Before we left for breakfast yesterday morning I felt itchy around my eyes; by the time we returned home I felt lumps growing along the sides of my face; and, when I rose this morning, I had large bags of fluid hanging beneath my eyes. I have no clue as to the source of this disfiguring malady; but, the swelling and inflammation exhausted me and I went to bed early last night and took a nap this afternoon.

Luckily, the colors of the morning sunrise entertained and distracted me and my T'ai Chi Chih practice lightened my mood, at least temporarily. Later, though, I hit a low point. Clearly, I was tired and easily discouraged by the condition of my health, the fact that our furnace isn't working today, our coffeemaker died last week, and the refrigerator is ready to be hauled to the junk heap (we still use it even though it freezes most of the contents of the frig).

These things, too, shall pass....

We are All One

2011-12-25T10:06:00.000-06:00

Frances and I will soon be off to a friend's house for breakfast. Our Christmas day skies are dull and grey. We lost the beautiful shining sun from yesterday and must depend today on the shining sun that's within ourselves.

I did my T'ai Chi Chih practice after laying a fire, feeding the dog, and getting myself ready for our 'social' morning. The dog watched me as I practiced and I felt wonderfully peaceful through each quiet repetition.

Today is like any other day and, yet, it's not. There's the energy of a birth, a person, a story, history, belief and, most of all, faith. Today we re-remember our love, acceptance, and compassion for all living creatures. We remind ourselves to treat everyone (ourselves and all others) with loving kindness. And we give thanks for a Holy One who modeled to us that--just like the Aspen trees--we are all One.

May Our Hearts and Spirits be Filled with Peace

2011-12-24T17:34:00.000-06:00

It's an odd Christmas Eve: sunny and mid-30s with a light covering of snow on the ground. Normally we're layering on clothes and shoveling out from beneath layers of snow by this time of the month. Not this year; today I ventured outside in a sweatshirt in order to carry firewood in from the woods.

It was incredibly beautiful and sunny outside; so much so, that I didn't want to come back inside the house. Needless to say, I overdid it, and spent over three hours hauling firewood. By the time the light was fading and I was ready to practice T'ai Chi Chih, I was tired (and lazy). All I really wanted to do was lie down on the couch and read.

I didn't let Monkey Mind talk me out of my practice, though. I compromised. First, I lay on the couch for about fifteen minutes and then I rallied myself--body, mind, and spirit--and headed out to the porch to practice as darkness fell. My muscles and body were sore, but I persevered and made it through the entire practice. Now, of course, after the fact, I'm grateful. I feel deeply relaxed and peace-filled.

Happy Holidays to all. Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Feliz Navidad. May your hearts and spirits be filled with peace....

One Shared Root

2011-12-23T08:53:00.000-06:00

Just as I did on Wednesday, I stopped everything today when the sun emerged over the horizon. Yep. It was time for a T'ai Chi Chih practice.

This morning the sky offered no opening between horizon and clouds, but there was a thinner cloud layer close to the earth's surface (just enough space for a beautiful bright pink-red glow to seep through). I basked in the color while it lasted and then watched the sky shift from its lively energy-filled rose tone to a too-familiar staid, blue-grey.

During practice I repeatedly focused on the soles of my feet since I finally read Sr. Antonia's December Newsletter several days ago and she provided me with thought-provoking comments. When she wrote about the Rest Pose, she mentioned that it is unique to the T'ai Chi Chih practice and is meant to help each practitioner ground and center.

Of course, I often remind my students to return to the soles of their feet when they sink into Resting Position. But I seldom mention--or remember myself--that the "Bubbling Spring" lies in the soles of the feet. Sr. Antonia's questions for reflection were interesting and intriguing: Do you ever feel the "Bubbling Spring"? What is that like? How do you experience "Grounding" the Chi? And so, I allowed my mind to settle into these questions and contemplate them.

Sister also mentioned that at a recent Albuquerque Teacher Training someone there said that they sense everyone in the room grounding like an Aspen grove of trees. Yes, one of the sensations derived from a group T'ai Chi Chih practice is the feeling that all members of the group are One. However, Sr. Antonia went on to say that: Aspens grow in large colonies derived from a single seedling and thus share the same root system. What an amazing image this is!

I can't think of a better or more hopeful image to carry in my psyche than that. I, too, am an Aspen growing in the forest of humanity. How can I not love and accept all others when I realize that we all grow from the same seed and spring to life from one shared root?

Thoughts at Rest

2011-12-22T20:52:00.000-06:00

And so, the light returns with each passing day. I called a friend early this morning to wish her Happy Birthday and asked how she felt sharing the day with Winter Solstice. She replied, "It makes me happy. It feels spiritual and I like knowing that my birthday is associated with the coming of the light."

I spent today's light working through my editing project. Finally, in early evening I stopped my project and walked upstairs to do my T'ai Chi Chih practice. I'd spent the afternoon working in a north-facing room that's colder than the rest of the house and I felt like I was past-due for a warm up. It was warmer upstairs but not necessarily quieter since Frances was seated in the living room below watching a fast-paced action-adventure movie.

No problem. I simply turned my back to the living room and carried on with my practice. Yes, the background music was loud and the sound effects were intense but, no matter, I focused my attention on the slow, relaxed movements of the form and placed my intention on being present in the moment. For the most part, I was relatively successful.

The TCC practice evidentally worked its magic. I currently feel so at ease that I can barely write. Rather than wrack my brain any longer, I'll put my thoughts to rest....

Winter Solstice: The Yin-Yang Cycle

2011-12-21T13:39:00.000-06:00

So I said to myself this morning as I walked through the living room and saw an orange sun gleaming over the horizon: I need to stop everything to do my T'ai Chi Chih practice right now. And, yes, that's exactly what I did.

Given the heavy clouds filling the sky, I knew that the sunrise would be beautiful but short-lived. The clear-skied route from horizon to low-hanging clouds held a narrow sliver of opportunity for me to experience clear, shining light at the beginning of yet another grey day. I made it though Rocking Motion, Bird Flaps Its Wings, and Around the Platter--as I greedily soaked in the light and colors--before the sun slipped from view.

By then, of course, I was well on my way toward completing my TCC practice. I shifted my position slightly to look out at the distant dark blue shoreline and the white-looking waters of Lake Superior (Is that the beginnings of ice I see?) and carried on.

After practice I finished dishes, held a phone conference with my editing client, and made my way to the computer to write this blog. It's the holiday season but, as usual, there's plenty of "cutting wood and carrying water" to do before I relax and visit with friends and family.

Happy Winter Solstice to all! The light! The light! Today our Earth reaches its furthest cycle into the darkness (yin) and circles back toward the light (yang) once more.

Project T'ai Chi Chih Practice

2011-12-20T20:17:00.000-06:00

Whew, it's been a long day. Nonstop. It started when I began to bake Four Grain Muffins at 6:30 this morning and ended when I carried five boxes of books downstairs to a storage room at the library at 7:15 this evening.

I was so tired at the end of my work day that I could barely get myself out the door and back home again. Luckily, after I arrived home and changed my shoes, I began my T'ai Chi Chih practice. Almost immediately I felt myself loosening up. It felt as if I was shedding layers of tension and, as I moved slowly and quietly, the layers peeled off my body and dropped to the ground. I'm still tired, mind you, but I feel lighter, calmer, and more relaxed.

Now I plan to reward myself for getting through this busy day: I'll sit on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and watch several segments of Project Runway (Frances's and my latest passion; it's a reality TV show about fashion designers).

Vim and Vigor

2011-12-19T12:07:00.000-06:00

Last night was so dark by 4:30 p.m. that it was difficult for both Frances and me to stay awake. Granted, the lighting in our house is insufficient; though I wanted to do some mending, I knew that I needed to wait until daylight. So, I took advantage of the darkness and went to bed early.

This morning I was elbow deep in dish water by 6:30 a.m. I immediately set out to dirty dishes as soon as they were clean; without a second thought, I launched into cooking multi-grain cereal for breakfast and two quiches for lunch.

I had plenty of time to go through my T'ai Chi Chih practice before I left for the library and, mid-morning, I closed myself in the guest bedroom, and flowed into my practice. The grey, overcast skies and long, dark nights must be getting to me. I went through the full form but didn't feel uplifted or energized by the practice. With daylight pared down to a mere eight or nine hours per day I'm inclined to follow the bears into their dens and settle down for a good long nap.

Failing that option, I'll wait impatiently for the return of light that begins on Wednesday. And who knows? It's likely that my TCC practice is helping me move through my days with more vim and vigor than I'll ever know....

Soooo Good

2011-12-18T16:46:00.000-06:00

Today was another relaxed, slow-moving day. Thank goodness! It felt wonderful to take several days to replenish my energy, relax, read, cook, pay bills ... and not run hither and yon like a--you guessed it!--chicken with her head cut off.

I discovered this morning that I lost my Medic Alert bracelet yesterday. I assume it happened while I was loading, sledding, unloading, carrying, and stacking firewood from a dead maple that Frances cut down the day before. Today I retraced my steps into, and back out of the woods, but had no success finding one thin, light, sliver of titanium lying among the weeds and grasses.

It's at times like this that I realize how vulnerable I am; without that one tidbit of information, "Diabetic," circling my arm it's unclear whether I'd receive appropriate medical care if I were found unconscious or wandering randomly (and, of course, I've experienced both situations). So, it's time for a reorder.

I did my T'ai Chi Chih practice today before my editing client called. It was a fantastic way to put myself in a relaxed, comfortable frame of mind for our phone session. I positioned myself in the porch within view of Lucy, the goose (in order to keep her company), and flowed through the movements as sunlight seeped into the woods, shone through the window, and warmed my face. Oh, it felt sooooo good.

Now, as the light of day fades into twilight I remind myself that this week is winter solstice. By mid-week the light will begin to return and day-by-day the darkness will gradually recede. It's a hopeful, happy thought....

Total Relaxation

2011-12-17T19:07:00.000-06:00

I stayed home today the whole darn day. What a treat! I didn't need to make myself look presentable, I didn't have to get in the car, and I didn't make conversation with anyone other than Frances. It was truly a day of rest. And, I admit, I spent a number of hours blissfully tucked between the pages of a book.

By late afternoon I'd had enough time to rest and I slipped into my T'ai Chi Chih practice. I didn't follow the traditional format and structure of TCC practice at all. I merely allowed myself to flow into whatever movement felt right at that moment. And, perhaps because I felt so relaxed after a day of rest, I moved slowly and effortlessly.

It was wonderful to be surprised by the mixed-up order of movements and, unlike other practices when I've deviated from the form, I felt steady, stable, and undeterred by the unknown. What movement came next? Whatever movement felt 'right.' Was I missing something? Did it matter?

Ahhh. Now that truly felt like total relaxation....

Relaxed and Soothed ... Rejuvenated and Refreshed

2011-12-16T16:57:00.000-06:00

Thursday, December 15, 2011:

Frances and I celebrated our anniversary today and, to make it extra special, we booked a room at Legendary Waters Hotel & Casino. It was fun! We ate dinner in the restaurant, lounged in the hot tub and swimming pool, and attended an evening comedy show.

Of course, we also drove home to feed and pill the dog (he's currently on antibiotics and pain meds to ensure that he heals fully after his teeth cleaning and the removal of seven teeth). We tried to watch a bit of TV too, but I guess that we're spoiled. After living here for nine years without a television, every channel we turned to had advertisements and programs that seemed inane and boring. It put us--literally--right to sleep.

I did my daily T'ai Chi Chih practice next to the swimming pool/hot tub while Frances swam and relaxed in the hot water. The room itself was extremely warm and I soaked in the delicious heat while I moved, soft and slow. It felt wonderful to chase away the chill we experienced as we trudged through strong winds blowing off Lake Superior to reach the hotel's front door. Since no one else was in the room or swimming in the pool, I had a quiet and deeply relaxing practice. Afterwards I rewarded myself with a soak in the hot tub and a short dip in the pool.

Friday, December 16, 2011:

One night away from our routine wasn't a long enough escape; by late morning, though, we were back home and back to reality. It was clear that the animals had missed our presence so we threw a toy for the dog, fed the birds, and settled back into our routines.

This afternoon's T'ai Chi Chih practice stood in sharp contrast to my poolside practice last night. By early afternoon the sun reappeared. What a relief! For the past week we've lived without sunshine as clouds and fog hid her glowing face. So, too, yesterday's wind had blown itself out and the woods was deeply silent.

I started my TCC practice in the porch, noticed the goose sitting next to the front step, and spontaneously decided to join her. After I repositioned myself on the cement step I continued my practice from Around the Platter. The temp hovered around 20 degrees, a distinct difference from the 80 degree room I practiced in last night; but, the clear, fresh air and glorious sunshine lifted my spirits and refreshed my soul. And--believe it or not--it didn't feel cold!

Last night my TCC practice relaxed and soothed me; this afternoon, my TCC practice rejuvenated and refreshed me (not a bad result either way).

Now it's 4:54 p.m. and the sky outside is dark. In less than a week winter solstice arrives and soon, very soon, the light will return.

Up and Moving

2011-12-14T16:24:00.000-06:00

Our unseasonable weather continues ... t's still foggy, rainy, and warm (mid- to high-30s). I'll soon be off to a library Christmas party and think it likely that the drive home will be slick.

Frances and I travelled to Ashland twice today for appointments with the vet. Both the cat and dog were scheduled; Chiripa received updates on her shots and Namaste went under anesthesia to have his teeth cleaned. Unfortunately, seven of Namaste's teeth were pulled in the process. The poor guy. He's still recouperating from the procedure and we'll all discover in upcoming days what this means for his menu options.

I practiced T'ai Chi Chih this afternoon while Namaste rested on the bed beside me. As I moved I looked outside the window onto a world of retreating whiteness. Drops of water clung to tree branches where clumps of snow recently hung.

Like the dog and cat, I'm tired too. I had a flu shot yesterday and seem to be slowed down. The TCC practice was helpful: it got me up and moving. It also lightened the feel of this dull, drab day. And now ... I'll slip and slide my way into Bayfield for our library celebration.

Being in my Practice

2011-12-13T12:12:00.000-06:00

It's another warmish day that's gradually cooling down. In one word, it's treacherous. I ventured to the clinic for a flu shot and wondered whether the car would stop or slide right down the driveway onto the highway at the bottom. My concern on the trip home: Would I be able to drive back up the driveway? (I made it.)

The last few days have been foggy and rainy (which explains today's iciness). When day after day is drab and overcast, I feel tired and lethargic. But, like most people, I motivate myself to keep moving.

My morning T'ai Chi Chih practice was relaxed, slow, and calming. I practiced mid-morning to avoid a last minute rush to work. And, though I had a list of to-dos, I allowed myself to let go of my burdens and simply be in my practice.

Meanwhile the phone rings and Frances becomes more and more involved in town business and politics. I know what I need to do: Keep myself centered in a place of quiet, peace, and simplicity. That place of serenity supports my health and well-being.

Quietude

2011-12-12T12:25:00.000-06:00

Today stands in sharp contrast to the glorious sun-filled beauty of yesterday. Although the warm temperatures remain, the sky is one vast ceiling of white while the rich brown of earth emerges from its short-lived winter cloak of white.

I spent several hours on the phone with my editing client this morning and immediately followed that session with my T'ai Chi Chih practice. I know that this calm retreat into movement and breath will be a helpful transition from the peace of my home into the fast-paced, request-driven, and people-filled environment of the library.

I threw in a quick few minutes of TCC practice before my client called, in addition to the practice after, and, as far as I'm concerned, every moment of practice helps to bring quietude to my mind and body and gently offers me the opportunity to return myself to the present moment.

After TCC practice I sat for a brief five minutes to still myself further and I was glad for the extra time dedicated to no-thing. And now the time has come for me to leave my silent retreat and venture into the world of work where people and events move at high speed....

Resting in the Softness of Chi

2011-12-11T17:28:00.000-06:00

It was an absolutely lovely day: unrelently sunshine, warm temps (mid-40s), and melting snow. It was the kind of day I'd expect to find in mid-March rather than mid-December. And so, I took advantage of the unseasonable warmth and went outside to haul firewood.

I pulled on a sweatshirt and spent several hours stacking freshly-cut wood on a sled and pulling it out of the woods to the house. Oh, what fun to be outside in the wooded beauty as I exercised my body (and mind).

After darkness fell I practiced T'ai Chi Chih in front of the woodstove in the basement. Floating, flowing, pushing and pulling. It felt good to rest my body in the softness of Chi flowing after my mid-afternoon workout. And, now, after a busy hard-working day I'm settling into a relaxing, restful evening. It's time for my entire being to rest in quietude before the beginning of another fast-paced week.

Oh, peaceful night

2011-12-10T20:14:00.000-06:00

I practiced T'ai Chi Chih by the light of the moon this evening ... the full moon, that is. I looked out the porch windows (with the inside lights turned off) and could see into the yard and woods as if an outdoor light were shining from the south end of the house. It was dark--yet light enough that the trees and house cast shadows--and mysteriously beautiful.

I had a difficult time focusing my mind since I had kitchen projects part-way done and knew that I had to return to them after practice. Also, my body seemed wobbly and unbalanced. Nevertheless, it was quiet and calm and soothing to be sheltered within the light-filled darkness.

I caught up on some house projects today and boy, did it feel good to stay home. I'm been running around and driving to and fro too much lately; this day felt like a nurturing gift of peace and quietude. Tomorrow I hope for more of the same....

A Heart Tonic

2011-12-09T08:12:00.000-06:00

I woke at 4:30 a.m. Remnants of last night's e-book training and thoughts about the busy day ahead kept me from returning to sleep so, at 5:30 a.m., I rose ... alive, alert, awake, and joyous!

I spent the first hour of my day scurrying around; I made my lunch, revived the fire in the wood stove, and began work preparations. Then it was time for my T'ai Chi Chih practice; and, I must say, none too soon. When I stepped into Resting Position, I could feel my heart thumping at a frantic pace. First order of business: calm my heart.

I immediately sat, placed hands on my chest and performed some Reiki and soon my heart rate slowed down. When I returned to my practice, I could feel that the TCC practice was just what I needed to quiet and calm myself before the start of busy-ness. I released myself into the silent peacefulness of early morning (without hurried thoughts or a endless agenda to contemplate). Ahhh. It felt absolutely perfect to let myself s-l-o-w.

Refreshing? Rejuvenating? Grounding? Unifying? Downright Good?

2011-12-08T15:52:00.000-06:00

Yes! Today we held another wonderful final T'ai Chi Chih class session in Cornucopia. The quiet slowness--as always--felt so refreshing? ... rejuvenating? ... grounding? ... unifying? ... downright good? ...

Following our group practice we finished our discussion of Ch. 11 in Buddha's Brain. And, because we discussed ways to quiet the mind and become aware of the body, I encouraged the group to really consider the ways in which our T'ai Chi Chih practice offers us opportunities to do both.

One of the reasons I've always felt a special draw to T'ai Chi Chih practice is because it so effectively gets me out of my head and into my body. And, the authors of Buddha's Brain write that "whole body awareness supports singleness of mind." (p. 187)

They continue their discussion by encouraging readers to "abide as awareness itself." As mindfulness stabilizes, they write, you will rest more and more as awareness itself. And that, my friends, is why TCC practice feels so good. When I am able to rest in awareness, I'm more detached from my ego and from my Monkey Mind thoughts; and, I'm more able to sink into the unity and Oneness of All That Is.

Well, now I'm back in the work-a-day-world of information, thoughts, and new learning. Tonight I'll attend a three-hour training on e-books in order to help library patrons use several new Kindles we recently purchased through our library. Thankfully, I have my daily TCC practice to calm my nerves, strengthen my ability to learn new things, and return me to my root. I am grateful.

Quietly Wonderful

2011-12-07T20:14:00.000-06:00

This evening's final T'ai Chi Chih class for 2011 (in Washburn) was quietly wonderful. While we moved through our practice I barely spoke except to offer occasional verbal reminders regarding some of the more challenging movements: Anchor Step Taffy, Perpetual Motion Taffy, and Passing Clouds.

I had a long hard day of work and this evening's TCC class--while still my job--was the perfect reward for staying motivated and focused throughout the morning and afternoon. Class members also seemed to mesh into one relaxed unified whole as we ventured through the form.

At the moment my brain has slipped into relax mode (along with my body). It feels like it's time for me to rest before I rise early tomorrow morning and journey to my final T'ai Chi Chih morning class for 2011 (in Cornucopia).

Then for the next month I'll be on my own with my daily T'ai Chi Chih practices. I look forward to my temporary holiday break. By January, though, I'll be ready to begin again: a new year, a new practice, a new outlook on life.

Ah, synchronicity

2011-12-06T21:13:00.000-06:00

The temps are dropping ... it was 16 degrees when I drove to work today and the town plowed our driveway for the first time this morning. I believe I can assume that winter is now here for the duration of this year and well into the next.

It's now late enough in the evening that my brain is barely functioning. I just finished my T'ai Chi Chih practice and, thankfully, I'm able to practice when my body and brain are tired. (It's the blogging afterward that takes a major effort!)

I watched my reflection again tonight while I moved. It's a wonderful reinforcement to see myself moving slowly and softly. And, I know that I'll feel more relaxed when I sit down to watch a short movie before bed.

The slip in my fortune cookie tonight predicted the following: About time I got out of that cookie. I'm speculating about what that means for my current life.... Ah, synchronicity.

Like a Snowflake Falling ...

2011-12-05T20:17:00.000-06:00

The woods turns whiter and whiter as our layer of snow cover thickens. I practiced T'ai Chi Chih this morning during another light snowfall. As I watched the snow through a window I reminded myself to float lightly through my practice and settle softly into Resting Position. It was helpful to have a soft, unhurried, "light as air" inspiration directly in front of me.

I managed to make it through half a practice before I left for work (I scraped about 3 to 4 inches of snow off the car before I drove anywhere). Then I spent the afternoon at the library where work was mellow and traffic flow was light.

Back home again, I launched into the second half of my TCC practice. It was dark, of course. And I felt tired. But it also felt good to revisit TCC one more time today. The peace ... the quiet ... the relaxation ... the release ... the effortlessness.

I feel grateful. I give thanks....

Ah, peace....

2011-12-04T09:45:00.000-06:00

I woke this morning to a literal Winter wonderland (I use winter here with both its meanings in mind: my last name as well as the name of the season). A frosting of white snow lay over every horizontal surface as far as the eye could see. Here I am (lucky me!), living in the middle of a black and white Christmas card. The only color in this fresh white landscape was a distant smudge of dark blue where Lake Superior's as yet unfrozen waters met the horizon.

Yesterday was fabulous: it was a birthday filled with friends, hugs, phone calls, Facebook greetings, gifts, good food, pampering from Frances, and best of all, the presence of others. And, to wake this morning to a pure, fresh, winter-white day was the perfect start to my next year of life. I am grateful, I give thanks.

It was so beautiful this morning that I absolutely had to flow into my T'ai Chi Chih practice immediately before any plowing, drifting, shifting, shaking, blowing, or changing weather could alter the fantastic landscape before me. I chose a spot in the living room where I could look out east-facing windows to admire the snow-draped trees standing before that distant spot of blue sea and sky.

No sound. It was so incredibly quiet that I swear I could hear my bones creak in addition to the distant tick of a clock in the next room. My internal dialogue switched on and off throughout practice and finally quieted to a whisper when I sat down to meditate after practice. Ah, peace....

Me and My Shadow Move with Grace and Flo

2011-12-03T17:01:00.000-06:00

Today is my birthday, and even though I had big plans to celebrate--go downtown to the Christmas craft sale, read magazines at the library, and sit in the coffee shop--I was supremely satisfied to have several long phone conversations with my lovely sister and a good friend from out of state. Those were my true gifts!

Frances is cooking a meal for friends this evening and I can't imagine a better way to celebrate than to spend time (on the phone or in person) with those I love and care about. It's been a wonderful day!

This afternoon's T'ai Chi Chih practice was just what I needed to bump up my energy (I didn't get enough sleep last night and I'm dragging). I practiced with my shadow and occasionally looked over at her to see whether she was moving forward and back with smoothness and continuity because, in truth, I felt just a wee bit jerky. Was I pushing myself forward and back or was I gliding with Grace and Flo?

My shadow looked pretty relaxed and smooth. And, when I watched her, I could see the way in which I led with t'an tien (my center) and allowed my hands to follow the forward-back movement. Yes, I know that I preach this principle to students and I feel that I do as I tell others to do, but I seldom have the opportunity to actually see how my own body looks as it shifts and moves. It works!

And now ... and now it's time for my guests to arrive! "I am grateful. I give thanks."

Comfort and Coziness

2011-12-02T19:16:00.000-06:00

I feel kinda wordless right now. I spent much of the afternoon working on my editing project and, as a result, there are no words left for me to express myself (sometimes struggling to find just the right word or phrase can be a challenging--and exhausting--process).

I did get out of the house today and spent over an hour carrying and stacking firewood. That activity is so good for me; it keeps my body moving and allows me to sweat out toxins and breathe in clean, fresh air.

In the fall it's important that I reset my internal body clock to recognize when it's time to restock firewood in the wood stove. If I wait too long, the fire dies down to the point where it needs to be restarted; if I don't wait long enough, I overload the stove to the point where the wood burns too hot and/or too fast. It's a delicate balancing act.

I did my evening T'ai Chi Chih practice in front of said wood stove as I watched flames leap and dance while I, too, did my own special Chi dance. It felt comforting and cozy to sink into the warmth of the stove . . . the room . . . the practice.

May my mind be steady

2011-12-01T14:00:00.000-06:00

Oh, what a glorious morn. "I am thankful. I am grateful."

I woke to bright shining sky and snow-covered earth. The woods looked absolutely beautiful with tree branches cloaked in a fresh covering of white.

During this morning's T'ai Chi Chih class we slid slowly through the movements of the form. It always feels delightful to experience the body as it unwinds and untangles stiff cords of tension that run through the muscles and tendons.

After TCC practice we returned to our discussion of Buddha's Brain, Chapter 11, "Foundations of Mindfulness." The section entitled, "Set Intentions," offered some helpful hints:

Establish a deliberate intention at the beginning of any activity that requires focus. Use statements such as May my mind be steady. Or just call up a silent feeling of determination.

Get a bodily sense of being someone you know who is extremely focused. That uses the empathy systems in the brain to stimulate within yourself the mindful nature of that other person.

Keep reestablishing your intentions ... every few minutes you could resolve anew to stay focused (p. 183).

I told the class that my intention in beginning each class with a guided meditation is to help students notice their breath, tune into their bodies, and relax tight muscles. However, this approach assumes that when students relax their bodies they'll also automatically focus their minds.

It may help to include May my mind be steady as a integral part of each guided meditation. By stating that intention directly I'm telling each person's Monkey Mind that it's okay to settle down during the time of our practice. It can't hurt to try.

Hibernate or Practice ... Practice Before Hibernating?

2011-11-30T21:04:00.001-06:00

I didn't sleep well last night and, in addition, I was up early. By the time my 5:30 p.m. T'ai Chi Chih class began I was tired. But, not to worry, most of my students seemed tired too, so we simply rolled through our practice slowly and quietly.

I'd mentioned to several students prior to class that I tend to go into hibernation mode when the season changes, the days get shorter, and the darkness lasts longer. Everyone in the conversation responded with a nod of their heads so I gather that this is not unusual.

It appeared that we were all a bit more relaxed and energized by the end of our practice; that felt good since we all drove home in falling snow. I have one week of classes remaining in this session and then there's a mid-winter/holiday break until I begin teaching again the second week of January, 2012.

I'm ready for a teaching break and, I have to admit, right now I'm ready for sleep....

Slow ... Slower ... Slowest

2011-11-29T20:11:00.002-06:00

By the time I did my T'ai Chi Chih practice this evening after work I'd been moving at high speed all day. First, I worked on my editing project and then I spent an hour hauling firewood. When I arrived at work, I was occupied with people and projects throughout the remainder of the day.

Immediately after I closed the library doors for the night I began my TCC practice. I positioned myself between the 'New Books' display and the DVDs. Ohh, I was moving fast. It took me a considerable amount of time to allow myself to go slow ... , slower ... , and slowest. And it didn't come easy.

First, I released my body from its speeded-up "I'm at work" mode, then I allowed my mind to decelerate into the present moment as I let go of any agenda or list of 'to dos' for the rest of the day. Finally, after a full half-hour of moving meditation I mellowed out.

Now I'm waiting for Frances to pick me up after the town meeting she's attending. Hmmm. Maybe, just maybe I'll try one of the new Kindles the library purchased and see whether I can figure out how to use it. Or ... I could actually sit on the couch and read a magazine....

Empowerment

2011-11-28T20:47:00.000-06:00

Today would have been a good day to begin with a T'ai Chi Chih practice. Alas, I was scheduled to open the library and didn't get in my practice before work. Mondays are notoriously busy since the library is closed on Sundays. It often seems as if patrons are anxious to return the ten DVDs that they watched over the weekend (or during the previous two weeks) on Mondays and then check out ten more. Needless to say, I was inundated with DVDs.

I moved at top speed for the first three hours after I opened and, since my co-worker had an out-of-town appointment, I worked solo most of the day. Need I say more? It was a tiring day.

After I arrived home and ate dinner I felt better. But I truly relaxed after I did my T'ai Chi Chih practice. When I tuned into my body, I realized that I was holding tension in my neck and shoulders and I reminded myself to let my shoulders drop as I breathed out the tightness and stress.

One of the greatest benefits of TCC practice is the opportunity it provides for me to get out of my head and into my body. Or perhaps, more accurately, it allows me to focus my attention on relaxing my body and my mind. I'm reminded of the the 1997 book by Richard Carlson and Joseph Bailey, Slowing Down to the Speed of Life: How to Create a More Peaceful, Simpler Life from the Inside Out.

It seems that people often think of T'ai Chi Chih and T'ai Chi Ch'uan as exercise. What they don't realize is that when we take the time to slow down and inhabit our bodies, we also find ourselves inhabiting (or noticing) our minds and thoughts. What a wonderful gift to notice, to pay attention, and to become present to--and in--the moment. Because, once we are aware, we can make conscious, deliberate choices. Now that's empowerment!

I am Grateful

2011-11-27T19:12:00.000-06:00

The T'ai Chi Chih Facebook entry for Friday, Nov. 25, 2011 reads: Every morning get up and say three times: "I am grateful. I give thanks."

Zen writer Paul Reps gave this suggestion to his good friend, Justin Stone (the creator of T'ai Chi Chih Joy Thru Movement). Just 15 seconds a day is said to be the recipe to ensure happiness. It seems simple enough and I'm guessing that it puts your head and your heart in just the right place to start your day. I'm planning to try it just to see what happens.

After resting yesterday I felt so much better and more energetic today! I was up at 5:30 am and immediately launched into a variety of projects. I had enough energy, in fact, to finish my editing project, haul firewood, and make Curried Pumpkin Soup with Coconut Milk. Mmmm.

Early this evening I returned to my T'ai Chi Chih practice. It felt lovely to get into and then go with the flow. I am grateful for my T'ai Chi Chih practice. I give thanks for the uplifting role it plays in my life.

Let the Goodness Shine Out

2011-11-26T21:38:00.000-06:00

Today I slowed down. Didn't have a choice ... I was tired. Rain fell heavily in the middle of the night and, once the day dawned, it was grey in and out and all about.

My biggest accomplishment of the day? I read a book. It's a new young adult novel we recently placed into our library collection called Shine. The book's plot contains plenty of darkness (meth and alcohol addiction, gay bashing, poverty, and domestic and sexual abuse) but the underlying theme is about living in the light.

Here's what one of the characters, Mama Sweetie tells our heroine, Cat, when she's 13 years old:

     She said God had blessed me with an abundance of spirit, and not to ever squash it down. She said there was goodness in everything and everyone, and that it was our job to let that goodness shine out.

     'A person does on occasion lose his way,' she warned Patrick and me. 'We all have our trials. But I'm gonna tell y'all something, something I want you to remember....'

     ... 'God loves you even on your blackest days.... All you have to do is look for the light of His love. As long as you remember that one thing, why, then you can cast off the darkness and shine again, can't you?' (pp. 95-96)

I could relate to these lines because I'm reminded of how I feel when I engage in my T'ai Chi Chih practice. Something about the energy?, the ability to align with a feeling of Oneness?, the opportunity to release myself (at least temporarily) from Ego?, allows me see and experience the "goodness in everything and everyone." When I am truly in the moment and fully engaged in my practice it is possible for me to see and experience a feeling of lightness, generosity, and loving kindness that is so much larger than me and, consequently, it allows me to let my own goodness shine out....

This evening's TCC practice felt en-light-ening. When I began, I was tired and lethargic and, by practice end, I felt lighter and more balanced. It's worth a half hour investment to experience this lovely feeling of release.

Black Friday in Rural America

2011-11-25T17:48:00.000-06:00

My Black Friday consisted of a trip to the vet with Namaste and some errands and grocery shopping at the food coop and our local IGA. Our day was so much calmer and quieter than the stories I read on the internet about shoppers who were pepper-sprayed as well as robbed of their new purchases when they left the store. I am so grateful that I live in the middle of the woods!

Frances and I did some more clearing of branches along our driveway until I felt so tired that I thought I had to be in an insulin reaction (I was). I walked back up the drive, treated my reaction with a banana and some apple juice, and launched into my T'ai Chi Chih practice.

Although I felt tired and lazy after my busy day and the low blood sugar the TCC was soothing and relaxing. Now I'm ready to eat some Thanksgiving leftovers and devote the rest of the evening to total relaxation....

Thanks-Giving-and-Receiving

2011-11-24T13:00:00.000-06:00

Today I celebrate--and continue--two years of daily T'ai Chi Chih practices and blogs. I began this extraordinary journey on Thanksgiving Day 2009. In my first blog entry I called this undertaking an "experiment" for, truly, it was a leap of fantasy and faith.

Over the years I've daubled with daily writing: diaries, journals, Morning Pages (per Julia Cameron). My writing has always been pleasurable, creative, and cathartic. It has pulled me out of anger and depression, helped me learn how to be more accepting of diabetes, reminded me of the gifts and blessings that surround me, and brought me into a greater understanding of what it means to embrace my humanity.

Writing is one of the few undertakings in my life in which I can become easily lost; time stops or, at the very least, pauses when I'm encircled by thoughts, ideas, words, and sentences. I suppose you could say that the same holds true for my T'ai Chi Chih practice. It's easy to delve into the silence, the peace, and the flow of Chi. It's usually surprising to realize how quickly my half-hour practice begins, then ends. More often than not, my mood is lighter and my step springier after my practice than when I began.

Still, when you undertake a daily practice it's easy to grow bored, to take your efforts for granted, or to forget what your life--or you!--were like before your journey began. Some days this commitment of mine feels like a burden; some days it feels like a gift; and other days, it feels like a wild and wacky "experiment" in patience, fortitude, and trust that my daily T'ai Chi Chih and writing practices do make a difference in my own life and, hopefully, in the lives of my students and others.

Two years ago I envisioned this Thanks-Giving pledge as a path to explore Taoist philosophy, T'ai Chi Chih teachings, and my own inner growth. Now I realize that it is more practical: an exercise in chopping wood and carrying water. The dailyness. The routines. The habits and attitudes of a lifetime are played out in each word, each movement, each moment....

I'm reminded of a brief story I discovered this morning when I pulled a book from my shelf:

ZEN STUDENT: So Master, is the soul immortal or not? Do we survive our bodily death or do we get annihilated? Do we really reincarnate? Does our soul split up into component parts which get recycled, or do we as a single unit enter the body of a biological organism? And do we retain our memories or not? Or is the doctrine of reincarnation false? Is perhaps the Christian notion of survival more correct? And if so, do we get bodily resurrected, or does our soul enter a purely Platonic spiritual realm?
MASTER: Your breakfast is getting cold.

"Mondo on Immortality," from: The Tao is Silent by Raymond M. Smullyan, p. 194

Happy Thanksgiving, one and all....

Heavy Duty Healthfulness

2011-11-23T21:39:00.000-06:00

It was a wacky warm day-before-Thanksgiving with the drip-drip-drip of snow melting off the roof. Yep, deluxe sweatshirt weather (I discovered that when I went outside to help Frances schlep branches she trimmed off trees lining our driveway). Our efforts were in direct response to a letter from our town clerk asking us to remove low-lying branches in order to facilitate snowplowing up and down our driveway this winter.

I spent the day making wheat growers' buns (a recipe from Frances's mom) as well as editing. I put a lot of wheat flour into those buns in order to ensure their Healthfulness (with a capital 'H'). Consequently, they're Heavy duty (again, with a capital 'H'), and not quite as delicious as they are when they're made with all-white flour.

My evening T'ai Chi Chih practice was performed after dark (which comes earlier and earlier these days). I stared out the porch windows into the darkness until I spied a cute little white face--the cat--peeking under Lucy's plastic wading pool that's tipped upside down over the water pump. She was hunting (obviously) as she slid under and then reappeared next to the overturned plastic pool. It was fun to catch an occasional glimpse of one happy hunting cat.

My TCC practice was wonderfully relaxing; now, though, I can feel that my body is ready for bed. Tomorrow is all about cooking and eating. I'll be right there indulging with everyone else. I was informed, however, that the Green Bay Packers are playing the Detroit Tigers. The Packers are undefeated (10-0) so it's a big game day for those who are fans, a big hunting day for those who are hunters, and a big feasting day for the rest of us.

The Tao of Pooh

2011-11-22T20:33:00.000-06:00

It's been a long, busy day in the neighborhood. First up this morning I made a vet appointment for our--now--three-legged dog, Namaste. His lifelong hip problems have escalated to the point where Namaste is often in pain and it's hard for me to watch our little bugger hopping around on three feet. We'll see what the vet says Friday morning....

Today I practiced T'ai Chi Chih before I left for work. For whatever reason, it felt difficult to focus my attention on my practice but, as usual, practice time sped by. It was helpful to me that I practiced before work since I had a bit of a run-in with one of our patrons over cell phone use in the library. Although we have signs posted by every entrance to the library: "No Cell Phone Use in the Library," it's surprising to note how many people disregard this request entirely.

Often the cell phone offender is working at a computer with other patrons sitting at a computer right beside them (which was the case today). Typically, when a librarian goes and specifically asks the patron to move their conversation to the entrance, they comply. Not so today.

It was interesting for me to notice how quickly a situation can turn into a power struggle. Since this patron ignored my request I simply made it clear to the patron before s/he left the building that, even though there weren't many patrons in the library at the time, it still disturbed me to listen to someone's private conversation. Then I let it go.

That, I think, is a lesson from the Tao. Be strong enough to know and state your truth and then, be satisfied that that's all you need to do.

No T'ai Chi Chih classes this week due to Thanksgiving. I'm excited to have an open evening and morning to prepare food for Thanksgiving, work on firewood collection, and continue my editing project. Obviously, I'm not at a loss for projects to fill those extra hours.

May Peace Abide with You

2011-11-21T18:12:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was Justin's Stone's 95th birthday and, in his honor, International T'ai Chi Chih Day. Many local T'ai Chi Chih communities--the Twin Cities included--held a special practice and celebration to commemorate his birth and life, as well as the contributions he has made toward world peace.

Today arrived on the wings of tremendous, stupendous, glorious sunshine. As I did my morning T'ai Chi Chih practice I looked out at the peace and silence of our Snow White Woods. Our 25 acres of trees stand like stalwart sentries guarding the serenity of the peace-abiding plants and trees and animals that live here.

I, too (some days!), abide in peace here. A large part of that ability to sense, embrace, and extend the peace comes from the gift of T'ai Chi Chih practice. When I re-enter my practice day after day I build a solid core of peace inside that allows me to still my inner turnoil and reach out to create a kinder, more compassionate and loving world. Thank you, Justin Stone, for this wonderfully tranquil moving meditation.

May you abide in peace, too....

Potent

2011-11-20T23:20:00.000-06:00

Today it feels as if winter is here for certain. Then, a friend mentioned that next week we're predicted to have several days in the 40s ... who's to know?

It is white everywhere and, with temps in the 20s, there's a definite chill--and frozen feeling--in the air. I spent the morning editing, then cooking, then cleaning, then cooking some more as guests arrived for a potluck and feature presentation of The Real Dirt on Farmer John, a biographical documentary about the life of John Peterson.

Peterson wrote and narrated this story of his life. It begins with his early years as the son of a small town farmer, then moves to his transition to full-time farming as a young adult (after his father's death), then details his loss of most of the farm acreage, and then, finally--like a phoenix rising out of its ashes--reveals his recreation/reinvention as a CSA farmer (Community Supported Agriculture). It's a sad, joyous, and compelling tale (thank you, Anna).

I practiced T'ai Chi Chih before our guests arrived for a potluck dinner and then returned to my practice after they departed. During the first practice I looked out the windows into winter white and during the second, I stared into the burgeoning flames of a rebuilt fire. Both practices were brief, relaxing, and invigorating.

Now, I'm up writing this blog long past my bedtime. (Yes, I believe this late-night energy is due in part to the TCC practice and also to the invigorating conversation and film discussion that ensued during this evening's social gathering.) We're building community--just like Farmer John--and it's a powerful experience.

A Snowflake Drifting ...

2011-11-19T16:50:00.000-06:00

Winter is upon us. Throughout the day a fine sprinkling of snow fell, gradually covering the earth, drive, front step, and pathways with several inches of accumulated snow. I shoveled a path for the dog to take a mini-walk and another path for the goose to follow to her barn.

But first, I cooked, edited, and practiced T'ai Chi Chih in the porch. I positioned myself at a window where I could watch Lucy and Lucy could watch me while I moved. She is so familiar with this practice that I assumed it might comfort her to know that I was nearby. Lucy sat snugly amid the piling snow and, when she stood, a bare piece of earth that resembled her underside still remained. Oh, the benefits of goose down.

It felt exciting, really, to witness the first resident snowfall of the season. It was a nice, calm, and quiet accompaniment to my slow, peaceful practice. Oh, if I could only be that snowflake drifting gracefully to earth.... After practice I walked down the driveway to pick up the mail and watched a white-tail deer run across the drive and leap gracefully into the protection of the forest.

The days are darkening ... the snow is fallng ... the temperatures are dropping ... and the season of hibernation will soon be here. Thankfully, I have many activities and intellectual pursuits to keep me occupied and warm.

Moving into Health

2011-11-18T19:48:00.000-06:00

Yes, I am feeling better. Frances and I took a walk this afternoon for the first time in about three weeks ... it felt good to move my body! I asked Frances if she could tell that I'm improving because I'm back to joking around and playing word games.

It was bit warmer today (warmer than the 20-somethings we've experienced this week) so the chicken and goose spent the day outside. I, on the other hand, stayed inside and worked diligently on my editing project. Two whole chapters completed! It may not sound like much but it felt like a huge accomplishment to me. I've made it through 14 chapters; I now have four chapters, an epilogue, appendices, and a full re-reading left to go.

To reward myself, I launched into my T'ai Chi Chih practice after I got up from the table and straightened my hunched over back. I moved slowly ... no where to go, nothing to do. By practice end I felt thoroughly refreshed. Tomorrow? More editing. Another T'ai Chi Chih practice. And ... ?

Mind-Full-Ness

2011-11-17T14:13:00.000-06:00

No one arrived at class by 9:30 this morning so I began T'ai Chi Chih practice by myself. Gradually students filtered in until we had an almost-full class of six members.

After practice one student mentioned that she really missed our beginning guided meditation which I skipped today since there was no one else in the room to participate. I missed the meditation myself because, even though I lead it, I still gain benefits from following my own verbal instructions to breathe, relax the body, establish a root and sky connection, and focus attention on t'an tien.

During our post-practice discussion of Buddha's Brain, chapter 11, I mentioned that I think the beginning meditation allows us to set an intention for our practice: to breathe, relax, and center ourselves first, in our bodies, and second, in the quiet and calm presence of our practice circle. When we deeply inhabit our bodies and set a clear intention to slow down and quiet ourselves, we can then more easily steady our attention as well as our minds.

Chapter 11 is in the final section of Buddha's Brain and focuses on "wisdom." This chapter, entitled "Foundations of Mindfulness," delves into the definition, benefits, and practice of mindfulness. According to the authors:

Being mindful simply means having good control over your attention.... developing greater control over your attention is perhaps the single most powerful way to reshape your brain and thus your mind (p. 177).

During my years of T'ai Chi Chih practice I've found that it can be relatively easy to focus my attention while I'm in the midst of my practice. My goal, as I mentioned to a former T'ai Chi Chih student who I stood behind at the grocery story checkout last night, is to bring that skill into more parts of my daily life. I need to offer myself the same reminder I give to my students: Practice. Practice. Practice.

The Never Ending Journey

2011-11-16T20:32:00.000-06:00

Brrr. Winter has arrived with a sprinkling of snow on the ground and colder temps in the air.

I spent the afternoon working on my editing project before I headed off to this evening's TCC class. I didn't feel up to par and had to resort to sucking on cough drops to keep my calm, relaxed exterior, but I was in a humorous mood tonight and found plenty of opportunities to inject my sly wit (!?) into our refinement session after group practice.

It was a fun session. Practice was quiet, peaceful, and so relaxed that some of the students looked as though they were just shy of falling into a deep sleep. Our refinement session was fun, too, as students asked plenty of questions and I was more than willing to offer suggestions for tweaking individual movements.

Tonight I talked about Working the Pulley in terms of how the upper body operates to create the large circles on either side of the body by simply bending and extending our elbows (based on last week's discussion about how we typically bend and extend our elbows to make many of the circles in this form). I've never quite thought about Pulley in this way before but it sure seemed to encourage class members to allow a larger circular motion as their hands moved behind their bodies.

I'll revisit this refinement in two weeks when we return to class after Thanksgiving break. It's so important to find various ways to explain how to do each movement so that, eventually, most of the students will have a better grasp of what to do and a more relaxed approach to how to do it. Effortlessness is the key and that's what inspires me to look for simpler ways to explain, demonstrate, and experience each and every movement. Learning ... it's a never-ending journey.

Leaf-Ladden Stillness

2011-11-15T12:09:00.000-06:00

It's a deeply quiet day. The morning began with rain that transformed into grey, leaf-ladden stillness.

I still feel worn out and exceptionally miserable in the mornings. So, after breakfast I relaxed under the Hothouse machine and soaked in its warm, comforting rays while Frances conducted several more radionics treatments on me.

Afterwards I moved directly into my T'ai Chi Chih practice in order to capture the Chi while I could. Interestingly, I didn't feel a huge amount of energy today; I'm just too darn tired. Instead, I watched the incredible stillness outside the porch window. A nuthatch flew to the dusting of corn left from the goose and chicken feed pan. Otherwise the other critters out in the woods were too well hidden in the grey-brown undergrowth.

It's almost time to head to the library. Tonight I'll come home and continue my healing routine....

The Healing is Within Me Now

2011-11-14T17:53:00.000-06:00

The last two days have felt like low points in my healing process. Last night at movie night it seemed that with each cough some of my vital force energy left my body.

This morning I wondered whether I truly had the strength and fortitude to go back to work. Then Frances offered to do some radionics treatments on me, which I gratefully accepted. During the first treatment I got up and started to move and by the end of the third treatment I was dressed and ready to head to work. What happened? It's a mystery. Something--what?--seemed to shift in my chest and the coughing stopped. Period.

As soon as I was up and running Frances encouraged me to do my T'ai Chi Chih practice to help build my energy. I had a wonderfully slow, relaxed, and vitalizing practice. Of course, at work I still ran into rough spots where my coughing began and would not stop and my nose ran like a faucet. But I hope (fingers crossed) that healing is continuing and I'm well on my way to health and well-being.....

A Circle of Friends

2011-11-13T18:36:00.000-06:00

I'm tired. Today I had a bit of a relapse and, I have to say, I feel discouraged. But, hey, it's movie night at the Winter-Johnson residence and I look forward to welcoming into our home some neighbors and friends with happy, healthy energy.

Right now I'm squeezing my blog into the brief few minutes before our guests arrive. The pressure is on but I'm not really feeling it because I know that I can always come back to my blog to finish it up.

During my practice I was calm, slow, and relaxed. I practiced T'ai Chi Chih in the near-darkness of the upstairs bedroom and kindly--and compassionately--watched my reflection in the window. Occasionally I heard the pop-pop-pop of Frances in the kitchen making popcorn but even that activity disappeared into white noise in the background.

The house always feels better when it's clean and organized which it is (for tonight anyway). I've told myself that I can excuse myself from the gathering tonight if I feel too tired or sick. That helps. My intention is to enjoy myself, relax into the presence of this gathering circle, and be at peace.

Filled with Ener-Chi

2011-11-12T18:45:00.000-06:00

It's another beautiful, unseasonably warm fall day. Frances spent part of the afternoon staining the house (there is one wall left and she's determined to finish before snow settles permanently on the ground).

I did more cooking (surprise!), gradually worked through my huge pile of laundry, and spent an hour on the phone with a friend. And I'm back to editing (one good page of editing deserves another and I think I have about 250 pages left to go).

I practiced T'ai Chi Chih out in the porch after darkness fell and Frances retired for a nap. So ... it was gloriously quiet (except for the sound of the clothes dryer). Often these days during practice I don't know that I have calm, focused mind but I do know that I feel a huge amount of energy (Chi). It is a wonderful feeling and plays a significant role in returning me to my practice day after day.

It's interesting how easy it is to forget that wonderful feeling of energy from one day to the next but all I need do is launch into my next day's practice and I'm quickly--and joyfully--reminded.

Now I'm Cooking ...

2011-11-11T20:09:00.000-06:00

I was up before five this morning and immediately launched into preparing a bean, kale, and squash stew. One sure sign that I feel better is when I start to cook again (I haven't cooked at all during the past week other than to serve as sous-chef on a pot of chicken soup that Frances made). After two hours in the kitchen, though, I was beat and returned to bed.

Mid-morning when I finally rose for the day I returned to the kitchen and cooked some more: stir-fried veggies and tomato bisque. Of course, the fact that I'm cooking is another sure sign that my health is on the mend because--wonder of wonders!--my appetite has returned.

This is the first day in over a week that I sense the old Steph is back in town. I still have some healing to do but the end is in sight.

I practiced T'ai Chi Chih in the basement tonight as the cat prowled her way along the walls. It was wonderfully quiet down there and a nice respite from the main floor where I've spent too many days sleeping, reading, and coughing. Oh, it felt good to bend my joints, breathe deeply, and quiet myself. Besides, I needed a break from too much cooking. (Too much cooking? Oh, perish the thought.)

The Wilderness of Your Intuition

2011-11-10T13:07:00.000-06:00

Wednesday, November 9, 2011:

Unfortunately, I grew sicker after Frances caught this cold on Tuesday. Throughout the day I gradually prepared myself for T'ai Chi Chih class and skipped all additional chores along my route to class except for the necessities: pick up Vit. C and zinc at the pharmacy and drop bill payments in the mail.

Class went well. I encouraged students to notice how the circles in each movement are created by the elbows as they extend (open) and bend (close). The fact is that when you extend and bend your elbows to "create" the circle, you have no need to reach or overextend the muscles in your upper arms. It is so much easier.

I drove home immediately after class, ate a quick dinner, and went to bed.

Thursday, November 10, 2011:

We had our first snowfall last night! Three to four inches at our house, none in Ashland or Cornucopia, and lesser amounts at other locations on the Bayfield Pennisula. By lunchtime the cover of white is almost gone.

I still consider myself lucky when I think about my sister who called me from West Virginia about ten days ago to report that her area received close to a half foot of the frozen stuff. It's downright bizarre that a warmer location would/could receive snow sooner than those of us in the great North Woods.

I did a long haul under the Hot House machine this morning with the hope that its gentle heat would improve my sinuses and backache. Then ... off to T'ai Chi Chih class once again. Ohhh ... it felt so good to move in our practice circle. After practice we conducted an energy circle and the class sent healing energy my way. I absolutely felt it as it landed like a mini-explosion in the center of my chest.

Post-practice we continued our discussion of Buddha's Brain, Chapter 10, "Boundless Kindness." I realized during our discussion how easy it is to create an us and them. It takes a considerable investment of time, energy, and dedicated practice in order to go beyond the ego and truly embrace All Living Things. I feel as if years of T'ai Chi Ch'uan and T'ai Chi Chih practice are leading me in that direction but ... it's a long and winding road.

You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself.

--Alan Alda
From: Daily Good, Nov. 8, 2011

Around the Corner

2011-11-08T15:55:00.000-06:00

Yep, Frances was hit hard last night with Cold/Flu #1 of the season. I'm a few steps ahead of her in terms of recovery but still sleeping like a dead person at all times of the day and night.

Today I ventured out of the house to feed the goose and chicken (it's my turn to do chores now that Frances is sick). In late afternoon I walked to the mailbox to pick up mail that hasn't been retrieved since last week. It was absolutely beautiful which prompted me to practice T'ai Chi Chih outdoors. The sunshine, blue skies, and warmish temperatures were an inspiration and I luxuriated in the out of the ordinary, better-than-could-be-expected weather.

It was a relief, besides, to get out of the sick house and smell clean, invigorating air. While I moved, the goose and chicken nested nearby in leaves and dirt. It was wonderfully quiet. The only sounds to break the silence were an unidentified bird passing overhead and a nuthatch hopping down a tree trunk and onto the ground.

I'm scheduled to teach T'ai Chi Chih tomorrow night and Thursday morning so it's imperative that I regain my strength and continue my recouperative process. Of course, each time I practice I focus attention on breathing out sickness and pulling in/breathing in health and healing (especially with Push/Pull and Pulling in the Energy).

The healing is coming, I can feel it. It's just around the corner....

Life, Death, and More Life

2011-11-07T17:56:00.000-06:00

Sunday, November 6, 2011:

Well, I had the energy today to do my T'ai Chi Chih practice but I simply couldn't face sitting down to write a blog.

Practice was not easy. The wind howled and raged and, though I stayed inside for my practice, I felt as if I, too, was windblown merely from watching the waving, wind-whipped treetops and branches through my window. It was difficult to maintain my mental focus and balance since my mind felt unsettled by the rambunctious fits and starts of the tumultuous winds.

Monday, November 7, 2011:

Today the winds died down (thank God!) and I practiced TCC in late afternoon quiet. It felt good to move since I've predominantly slept and rested over the past few days. Just as I begin to feel better, though, Frances is next up on the sick list.

The last few days have been disconcerting; twice a fox stalked and tried to capture Lucy the goose in broad daylight. Yesterday Frances heard Lucy's frantic honks and arrived to see the fox's teeth on Lucy's neck. When Frances yelled and chased, the fox appeared to be unfazed. Even after I joined in the fray and Frances fired a few shots in the fox's direction it circled back several times.

Today the fox returned, again intent on grabbing Lucy. This time Frances wore a gun in a holster at her side. When the fox didn't respond to her yells and a warning shot, she ended up firing to kill. It's unusual to see a fox in the middle of the day and one this aggressive. It didn't exhibit signs that it had rabies but its behavior seemed highly unusual.

Meanwhile we've been contacted by a local vet who participates in animal rescues. Her office wondered whether we'd be interested in taking on another goose that has lived along a river several hours south of here. And so it goes ... life and death ... and more life.

Comfort

2011-11-05T16:31:00.000-05:00

Oh, did I get slammed with a severe cold during the night. Today I slept ... and slept ... and slept. And slept some more.

During my late afternoon T'ai Chi Chih practice I felt pretty good but, I admit, I didn't launch into my practice until I felt capable of standing upright for half an hour. Now, after practice I feel much better. I'll just keep pumping in the fluids and see what tomorrow brings.

In the meantime I know that T'ai Chi Chih is a powerful tool in my self-care kit. I plan to keep applying it to my body, mind, and spirit as if it were a hot water bottle. It does bring me comfort....

T'ai Chi Chih Relief

2011-11-04T18:41:00.000-05:00

Just when I thought I had this cold thing licked it came back at me. My sore throat worsened and my symptoms increased as my workday went on. Wisely, I asked a co-worker to take over tomorrow's work hours.

During this evening's T'ai Chi Chih practice I felt pretty good while I moved (my attention was directed elsewhere?) and now I'm back in the realm of reality. It'll be early to bed and I'll see what tomorrow brings....

Becoming a Log Roller

2011-11-03T14:39:00.000-05:00

I continue to feel tired. At work yesterday many patrons complained about suffering from a bad cold. Me? I continue to take good care of myself and part of that self-care includes my plans for a nap this afternoon.

I woke today to a view of widespread frost on the grass and a thin layer of ice on the car windshield. Since I was moving slowly as I readied myself for our AM T'ai Chi Chih class, it helped me to visualize the class standing in a circle on the hardwood floors of our practice room with sunshine streaming through the windows and en-light-ening us.

And, sure enough, that's what happened. For me, it was a gloriously uplifting and energizing practice followed by a good discussion about how to cultivate positive emotions (Chapter 10) per our text, Buddha's Brain. The authors included an intriguing parable from Taoist teacher, Chuang Tzu, to illustrate how easy it is for us to attribute intentions to other people without even knowing what motivates their behaviors. I reprint the story below (Buddha's Brain, pp. 164-165):

Imagine that you are relaxing in a canoe on a river, when suddenly there is a hard thump against the side of it, dumping you into the water. You come up sputtering, and see that two teenagers with snorkels have snuck up and tipped you over. How do you feel?

Next imagine that everything is the same--the canoe, the sudden dumping into the river--except this time when you come up sputtering, you see that a huge submerged log has drifted downstream and smacked into your canoe. Now how do you feel?

How would you feel if caught in either of these two scenarios? The authors mention that, for many, the second scenario doesn't feel as bad as the first. They suggest a different approach to dealing with hurt, angry feelings:

Truly, many people are like logs: it's wise to get out of their way if you can--or reduce the impact--but they're not aiming at you.

So simple and, yes, so true. I believe T'ai Chi Chih practice helps me to venture into a place of unity and oneness where, at least temporarily, ego is put aside. During my practices it's easier for me to not take things personally but, rather, to respond to others from a place of generosity and good will. I'm still learning and practicing how to bring that openness and compassion into other areas of my life....

S-l-o-w and Quiet Movements

2011-11-02T20:30:00.000-05:00

This evening's T'ai Chi Chih class came as a welcome finish to a crammed, filled-to-the-brim day. I was so tired at work this afternoon I wondered how I'd have the energy to teach.

But, as many T'ai Chi Chih teachers know, I felt even better after class than when I began. And, when I looked around our practice circle, it appeared that there were a number of students who needed a refresher as much as I did. We moved s-l-o-w-l-y and quietly and I could see the tension slide off bodies and minds until it looked as if we could all just lie down on the floor and go to sleep.

Oh, it felt so good to move in unison with others who appreciate and notice the difference a T'ai Chi Chih practice can make in one's day. Of course, that doesn't mean that I'm totally refreshed and energized since I didn't get enough sleep last night. But it does mean that I'm much less tense and up tight than I was earlier today. And that, my friends, can make all the difference.

A Day of Meaningful Coincidence?

2011-11-01T21:30:00.000-05:00

11-1-11. Today's date seems significant. I don't know the exact reasons why but I know that I often look at the clock when it's 1:11 pm or 11:11 am (or pm). According to a quick search of the internet, numerological interpretations of 11:11 cite it as the beginning of new cycles, increased spiritual leanings, and compassion. Some people believe that looking at the clock when it reads 11:11 shows synchronicity or meaningful coincidence.

I've been thinking a lot about death recently and, today in particular, it's on my mind. I remembered this morning that today is the 12th anniversary of Frances's father's death. Also, I woke the other morning with a strong memory and feeling about my cat, Hiziki, who died three or four years ago. For whatever reason (astrological or otherwise), it feels as though there is a lot of activity in the spirit world.

I came home from work tonight feeling extremely tired so I was grateful for the opportunity to practice T'ai Chi Chih. As I moved I felt tension ease in my physical and mental muscles. And, post-practice, I'm still tired but definitely more relaxed. And I'll carry on with that desire to relax by sitting down to watch Doc Martin, a British situation comedy.

Blessings to us all on this day of 11111s.

A Hallowed Practice

2011-10-31T21:54:00.000-05:00

What better way to end a day of drama than with a T'ai Chi Chih practice? When I arrived at the library, I received sad news about the unexpected death of one of our beloved patrons (he was found sitting in a chair with a book in his lap). Since it was Halloween, I managed to sneak a glimpse of young school kids dressed in costumes as they paraded downtown accompanied by pounding drums.

In late afternoon/early evening I was visited by a lion, a witch (or two or three or more), a stick man, and other unidentified trick-or-treaters. I was more than ready for rest and relaxation by the end of my workday and immediately stepped into a T'ai Chi Chih practice before I left the building.

Five or ten minutes into practice Frances arrived to drive me home. She shared the news that one of our chickens died at the hands-claws-paws of an unidentified predator early this afternoon. Awww. After a snack and a short conversation with Frances I went back to my practice. And now here I am ... tired but happy, relaxed and ready for sleep....

This Very Breath

2011-10-30T18:20:00.000-05:00

In this very breath that we take now lies the secret that all great teachers try to tell us.

--Peter Matthiessen
From: The Little Zen Companion, p. 114

Our life is frittered away by detail ... Simplify, simplify.

--Thoreau
From: The Little Zen Companion, p. 49

Some words for thought.... This is a good day for thinking ... napping and thinking. As the afternoon progressed drops of rain began to fall. Now there's a constant tapping against the windows and metal rooftop.

Frances and I are preparing to host a group movie session tonight. We're set to watch, "Orwell Rolls in His Grave," a documentary about the political bias and huge, unimagined power of the media. Hopefully, it will lead to a lively discussion.

I practiced T'ai Chi Chih after the day turned gloomy and the rain began. Even though it was grey outside I felt tremendously comforted as I flowed through the soft, gentle movements of the form. It felt delightful to slow down, breathe, and r-e-l-a-x. I look forward to a nurturing evening with neighbors and friends....

No Excuses

2011-10-29T23:02:00.000-05:00

It's another busy day in the neighborhood! And, as I discovered yesterday, I'm much better off both physically and psychologically when I take time to do my T'ai Chi Chih practice and add on other strategies for self-care.

I was up early to edit, then ran errands, then edited some more, then stacked, moved, and restacked wood, and--you got it!--returned to my editing. It took most of the day to get to my TCC practice but, when I did, I felt so much better. Of course, another 45 minutes under the Hothouse machine helped me, too, as it relaxed the tight muscles in my back that have been speaking to me in a very loud voice.

I always remind my T'ai Chi Chih students that they'll be helped by a practice even when they think they're too busy to fit it in. And so, over the past few days, when I've been overwhelmed with projects and commitments, I've also been reminded of the powerful, rejuvenative effects this practice brings to a worn down, stressed out bodymind.

So--no excuses--take time for your T'ai Chi Chih practice tomorrow and notice how much better you feel at the end.

Tinkering with the Bodymind

2011-10-28T15:59:00.000-05:00

I practiced T'ai Chi Chih at home this afternoon with my CD of Tibetan monks chanting in the background. It was just what the doctor ordered. Today I feel tired, stressed, sick, and over busy so the TCC practice along with the praying monks, a seated meditation practice, and 45 minutes spent soaking up rays of warmth under my Hothouse machine, made me anew.

Perhaps this was actually what Buddha's Brain ordered. For it was just yesterday in class that we discussed different strategies designed to tame the wolf of hate and cultivate goodwill. One of author, Rick Hanson's, suggestions was to be aware of the priming, in other words, to be cognizant of elements that tend to stimulate your nervous system and prime you--or lead you--toward ill will (Ch. 10, p. 164). He's referring to H.A.L.T. (hungry-angry-lonely-tired), one of the mainstays of recovery work. I'd wager a guess that I could have responded affirmatively to three or four of the aforementioned options.

All of these tools from my toolbox made a difference in my attitude and energy level but, first, it took a conversation with Frances to help me realize that I needed to (1) do something about my stress and (2) take care of myself. Thank goodness for people in my life who know me well.

I'm going back to work now but I plan to remind myself later in the day to reopen my toolbox and engage in a bit more tinkering on my bodymind before I go to bed.

Energizing, Grounding, Cleansing

2011-10-27T16:51:00.000-05:00

It's late afternoon and, for the first time today, sun is beginning to shine through an ever-expanding hole of blue in cloud-clogged skies. Ahhh.... My soul feels lighter (because the world around me is lighter).

Our T'ai Chi Chih group practice this morning was relaxing and peace-inducing. During our discussion time after practice we talked extensively about the movement Joyous Breath.

"What," one student asked, "is it supposed to do for a person?"

"What," I responded, "does it do for you?"

She mentioned that since the movement relies on muscle tension and a focus on nose breathing she's inspired to imagine herself as bringing in good energy and pushing out the bad. Another student added that she often feels as if she could easily float upward during the previous movement, Light at the Top of the Head/Light at the Temples. For her, Joyous Breath effectively and efficiently brings her back down to earth as it strongly and securely grounds her.

For me, Joyous Breath feels like a cleansing. The full taking in and letting out of air is a tremendously important part of this movement because it allows me to feel as if I'm engaged in an internal house cleaning (which, perhaps, I am).

That's the joy of T'ai Chi Chih practice: the movements become meaningful and valuable to you based on the symbols, images, and interpretations you ascribe to them. T'ai Chi Chih Joy thru Movement is a universal, worldwide practice that provides untold benefits to those who practice it. It is also a practice that can be uniquely your own. When you make it so, you will truly experience the joy thru movement.