The day is gathered into waiting. A thicket of clouds covers the heavens; there's a hushed grey quiet settling over the landscape. It seems as though rain is inevitable tonight since the atmosphere has been in preparation all day long.
My tiredness continued today. Methinks I overdid it this week with two out-of-town trips and more. I've scaled back my schedule significantly since the heart disease diagnosis in March. I wear out quickly, sleep more, and feel exhausted after what used to be just one tiny segment of a too-full day.
My low back and upper back are currently so painful that I've resorted to taking aspirin which I seldom do for body aches. After my most-recent dose I quickly dove into my t'ai chi chih practice. It felt goooood. My practice went by quickly and now, I'm rejuvenated.
The yard is filling with colorful flowers after several trips to greenhouses and nurseries. Today Frances planted salmon begonias alongside red-orange-yellow nasturtiums, a bucket of purple-wave petunias (which look pink), honeysuckle, and so much more I can't remember the names. More beauty unfolds with each passing day....
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Early Birds
We had a gorgeous outdoor group practice at our last class session in Cornucopia this morning. Birds sang heartily and it felt good to get our group outside again. At last!
The 60-something weather felt hot, hot, hot as we moved through the TCC form in the midst of funshine (whoops, I meant to write sunshine). If this heatwave continues through the summer we'll be looking for more shady areas to conduct our July/August class practices. Perhaps we'll move to the lake shore nearby since we can almost always feel a cool breeze there.
I'm t-i-r-e-d so this blog is at its end. I'm modeling myself on the birds tonight and hope to be the early bird tomorrow in order to catch the worm. Right now I'm collapsing into bed.
The 60-something weather felt hot, hot, hot as we moved through the TCC form in the midst of funshine (whoops, I meant to write sunshine). If this heatwave continues through the summer we'll be looking for more shady areas to conduct our July/August class practices. Perhaps we'll move to the lake shore nearby since we can almost always feel a cool breeze there.
I'm t-i-r-e-d so this blog is at its end. I'm modeling myself on the birds tonight and hope to be the early bird tomorrow in order to catch the worm. Right now I'm collapsing into bed.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Understanding
If it weren't for the commitment I made last Thanksgiving, I would have skipped t'ai chi chih practice today. I started and ended the day with a severe headache and spent much of the day riding in the car.
When I arrived home around 9:00 p.m., I simply wished to head for bed. But, no, thanks to my personal pledge to perform a daily TCC practice and blog afterward I gathered my energies and perservered.
Of course, it was worth it. I feel a bit better now. And I'm grateful ... grateful that I feel obliged to maintain this bargain with myself, first and foremost, and also that I have others--you, my readers--who silently and unobtrusively hold this expectation for me. I have one tangible goal to aim for every single day and I often feel inspired and deeply satisfied when I accomplish it.
It's more than the movement, more than the circulation of Chi, more than the silence, the centeredness, or the peace. Each day, each practice is an effort toward greater self-care and a regular acknowledgement that I'm but one small part in the circling and cycling of the Universe. I reestablish my connection with the Tao.
As Shunryu Suzuki writes in The Little Zen Companion (p. 317):
When I arrived home around 9:00 p.m., I simply wished to head for bed. But, no, thanks to my personal pledge to perform a daily TCC practice and blog afterward I gathered my energies and perservered.
Of course, it was worth it. I feel a bit better now. And I'm grateful ... grateful that I feel obliged to maintain this bargain with myself, first and foremost, and also that I have others--you, my readers--who silently and unobtrusively hold this expectation for me. I have one tangible goal to aim for every single day and I often feel inspired and deeply satisfied when I accomplish it.
It's more than the movement, more than the circulation of Chi, more than the silence, the centeredness, or the peace. Each day, each practice is an effort toward greater self-care and a regular acknowledgement that I'm but one small part in the circling and cycling of the Universe. I reestablish my connection with the Tao.
As Shunryu Suzuki writes in The Little Zen Companion (p. 317):
When you understand one thing through and through, you understand everything.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Eavesdropping
It was summery today, warm enough to take the dog on a walk along the shore of Lake Superior and drink in the cool breeze off the lake. The dog, Namaste, was happy; Frances was happy; I was happy. It's been a long time since we've made it to the beach and the water level is low.
Tonight was the last TCC class in Washburn until the next session begins in October. It was 60ish, warm enough to hold our session outdoors on the third floor balcony. What a glorious experience!
Abundant traffic noise flowed over and around us but there was plenty of bird song too. It was wonderful to practice high in the air at treetop level and feel like we could fly with the birds or, at least, eavesdrop on their conversations.
Tonight was the last TCC class in Washburn until the next session begins in October. It was 60ish, warm enough to hold our session outdoors on the third floor balcony. What a glorious experience!
Abundant traffic noise flowed over and around us but there was plenty of bird song too. It was wonderful to practice high in the air at treetop level and feel like we could fly with the birds or, at least, eavesdrop on their conversations.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Ego Shows Her Raggedy Head
I moved in a fairy land this morning during my t'ai chi chih practice on the deck. A bird choir serenaded me from every direction and, other than their song, it was perfectly quiet. Though a few squirrels raced through the forest and up and down trees there was little movement.
Eventually, near the end of my practice a woodpecker visited the bird feeder. Woodpeckers love to come to the feeder and brush the sunflower seeds off onto the ground below. They are so intent on their duties, in fact, that it sometimes feels as if that's their mission.
One hummingbird finally flew to his/her feeder, too. I was relieved to see this since Frances told me that she'd been buzzed by the hummingbirds when she took in the feeders last night. It appeared that they didn't want their food source removed. But it was either take the bird feed in for the night ourselves or risk a black bear visitation last night which would certainly have removed the seeds and nectar permanently.
I practiced on the southeast corner of the house and, as the sun reached me, I saw my twin self moving along the cedar siding on the house. Huh, I thought, she/I has/have a tuft of hair sticking out from her/my neck in the back. Oh, that cowlick will never settle down.
Yep, that good old ego may disappear on occasion but she is never gone for long. Even in the midst of a wonderful TCC practice ego raises her head, hair shooting in every direction. I had to smile when I realized how ridiculous it was for me to worry about whether a small shock of hair stuck out in an inappropriate direction.... But that is, afterall, what it's like to live with your selves....
Eventually, near the end of my practice a woodpecker visited the bird feeder. Woodpeckers love to come to the feeder and brush the sunflower seeds off onto the ground below. They are so intent on their duties, in fact, that it sometimes feels as if that's their mission.
One hummingbird finally flew to his/her feeder, too. I was relieved to see this since Frances told me that she'd been buzzed by the hummingbirds when she took in the feeders last night. It appeared that they didn't want their food source removed. But it was either take the bird feed in for the night ourselves or risk a black bear visitation last night which would certainly have removed the seeds and nectar permanently.
I practiced on the southeast corner of the house and, as the sun reached me, I saw my twin self moving along the cedar siding on the house. Huh, I thought, she/I has/have a tuft of hair sticking out from her/my neck in the back. Oh, that cowlick will never settle down.
Yep, that good old ego may disappear on occasion but she is never gone for long. Even in the midst of a wonderful TCC practice ego raises her head, hair shooting in every direction. I had to smile when I realized how ridiculous it was for me to worry about whether a small shock of hair stuck out in an inappropriate direction.... But that is, afterall, what it's like to live with your selves....
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Quiet and Calm, Inside and Out
Today was a day of firsts. We sighted the first hummingbird of the season, the first indigo bunting, ... and the first bird catch by our kitten, Chiripa. Whoops! We knew that our little kitten's hunting skills were improving but not this much!
Frances saw the cat leap up to catch a bird as it flew away from a log resting on the ground. She immediately raced for the cat and bird yelling "No!" She grabbed Chiripa by the back of the neck, released the bird from Chiripa's teeth, and then we both spent time sending healing energy to the bird (she looked like a female goldfinch or purple finch).
Eventually Frances placed the bird on a low branch in a nearby tree and, after some recoup time, the shocked little feathered one flew away. Meanwhile, the cat, realizing her skills were honed, positioned herself beneath the bird feeder. She started her sentry duties with a wild leap into the air to see whether her curvaceous claws could catch any stray feet or feathers from the birds currently feeding there.
Yes, this is what cats do: catch mice, birds, chipmunks, bunnies, and squirrels. But Frances is adverse to the reality of cat predatory behavior so I imagine we will have some human-feline battles to contend with in future days and weeks. Still, we will try our best to protect the songbirds from our wily kitten.
It was a warm, windless day (80 degrees) which inspired us to work in our gardens planting, composting, and watering. This evening's TCC practice on the deck was different from previous evenings. It was more buggy in general and mosquitoes buzzed around my ears and took occasional nips at me. Our view of Lake Superior is gradually disappearing behind leaf-laden trees. And the green of the forest keeps growing in width and length, depth and volume.
A few leaves fluttered and stirred as if tickled by an unseen hand. And I relished the quiet and calm that surrounded me, outside and in.
Frances saw the cat leap up to catch a bird as it flew away from a log resting on the ground. She immediately raced for the cat and bird yelling "No!" She grabbed Chiripa by the back of the neck, released the bird from Chiripa's teeth, and then we both spent time sending healing energy to the bird (she looked like a female goldfinch or purple finch).
Eventually Frances placed the bird on a low branch in a nearby tree and, after some recoup time, the shocked little feathered one flew away. Meanwhile, the cat, realizing her skills were honed, positioned herself beneath the bird feeder. She started her sentry duties with a wild leap into the air to see whether her curvaceous claws could catch any stray feet or feathers from the birds currently feeding there.
Yes, this is what cats do: catch mice, birds, chipmunks, bunnies, and squirrels. But Frances is adverse to the reality of cat predatory behavior so I imagine we will have some human-feline battles to contend with in future days and weeks. Still, we will try our best to protect the songbirds from our wily kitten.
It was a warm, windless day (80 degrees) which inspired us to work in our gardens planting, composting, and watering. This evening's TCC practice on the deck was different from previous evenings. It was more buggy in general and mosquitoes buzzed around my ears and took occasional nips at me. Our view of Lake Superior is gradually disappearing behind leaf-laden trees. And the green of the forest keeps growing in width and length, depth and volume.
A few leaves fluttered and stirred as if tickled by an unseen hand. And I relished the quiet and calm that surrounded me, outside and in.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
May it be Delightful ...
During this evening's TCC practice I found myself drawn to the pool of blue that lay at the base of the ravine south of our house. No, it's not water. Nor is it a miraculous reflection of the sky. It's a wild splash of forget-me-nots that migrated down the ravine and clumped into riotous beauty next to several large rocks settled into the fertile soil.
After a sun-kissed day, part of which was spent in the garden, I migrated to the deck in early evening to practice TCC as the temperatures glided down to the upper 40s. My body was warm, my hands, increasingly cold.
Undisturbed by insects I floated through practice as rose-breasted grosbeaks, purple finches, and a hairy woodpecker competed for the bird feeder. When I sneezed loudly, it set off a cascade of response. A red squirrel dashed away from the feeder and into a nearby tree already inhabited by another red squirrel. The resident squirrel fled higher then retreated downward to scare off the invader. That began a game of scramble and chase that skipped from one tree to the next.
Throughout the ruckus I calmly watched, listened, and moved softly and slowly. Nothing to do and nowhere to go. Just moving with glad appreciation for the moment....
After a sun-kissed day, part of which was spent in the garden, I migrated to the deck in early evening to practice TCC as the temperatures glided down to the upper 40s. My body was warm, my hands, increasingly cold.
Undisturbed by insects I floated through practice as rose-breasted grosbeaks, purple finches, and a hairy woodpecker competed for the bird feeder. When I sneezed loudly, it set off a cascade of response. A red squirrel dashed away from the feeder and into a nearby tree already inhabited by another red squirrel. The resident squirrel fled higher then retreated downward to scare off the invader. That began a game of scramble and chase that skipped from one tree to the next.
Throughout the ruckus I calmly watched, listened, and moved softly and slowly. Nothing to do and nowhere to go. Just moving with glad appreciation for the moment....
May it be delightful my house;
From my head may it be delightful,
To my feet may it be delightful,
Where I lie may it be delightful,
All above me may it be delightful,
All around me may it be delightful.
Navajo Chant
From: Earth Prayers
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