Turn the World Around

It's warmer this morning when I rise. Four degrees. The sun skims over the horizon just as I begin my T'ai Chi Chih practice. I squeeze into the farthest northeast corner of the living room in order to watch it rise, a blood red diamond flashing through shadowed tree trunks.

As the sun diminishes in color bright pink reflects from the underside of a distant cloud. And then I notice glowing red mirrored on the surface of Lake Superior. Less than an hour later the sky is overcome by thick grey clouds. This morning's brilliant sunrise is now a distant memory.

Yesterday we saw smoke on the water, a heavy cloud of mist caused by the sun's early morning rays striking Lake Superior's chill waters and suctioning up some of its moisture into vastly colder morning air. Today's post-sunrise view is less visually dramatic: white, grey, and dark grey clouds smother the land in dingy dullness.

During this morning's TCC practice I remembered what inspired me to move more softly. It happened almost a year ago when I watched Sr. Antonia, the TCC guide, lead our practices at the TCC Retreat in St. Paul, MN. Again, during the TCC Teachers' Conference in August, I realized that I could deepen my own practice into greater softness.

Sr. Antonia's movements look gentle, peaceful, and easy when I'm in the same room moving with her. But I'm also reminded of the lovely way she moves each time I re-watch the film, On the Road Home: A Spiritual Journey Guided by Remarkable Women. In the film Sr. Antonia leads several different TCC classes and in each instance her soft, flowing movements are beautiful to behold.

Of course, I'm responding to more than the movements. I realized this more clearly when I recently showed this film to a friend who immediately described the energy she sensed when she watched Sr. Antonia move. I'd venture a guess that the energy that underlies Sister's TCC practice is loving compassion (and more).

I'm reminded of another woman healer: Ethel Lombardi. Almost 20 years ago I participated in a workshop Ethel led at a Spiritual Frontiers Fellowship retreat. A Reiki master, Ethel created a healing system called MariEl. MariEl used heart-centered energy and the essence of the feminine, i.e., Mother Mary (along with the goddesses Isis, Quan Yin, and the moon), to unlock negative emotional or physical experiences stored in the body's cells. Ethel simply looked at me and I felt deep love flowing into me. Several decades later I still remember that moment clearly because I felt as if something in that look changed everything....

Yes, we are all powerful and power-filled beings. It's unfortunate that we seldom realize that the smallest effort on our part can have huge and life-changing magnifications. A movement. A look. A word. When we act out of love and compassion, anything is possible.

Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around. -- Henry David Thoreau

Being with Self; Being with All

Thankfully, today's practice felt steadier and more stable than yesterday's. I flowed through the movements and moments with greater ease and peacefulness. Afterwards I sat quietly for five minutes. Sr. Antonia suggested at last weekend's retreat that we take a few minutes after each practice to simply sit, feet flat on the floor, and receive.

I can't explain what it feels like to receive since it's so momentary and non-intellectual. It is definitely a sensory experience. Today I felt great quietness, heat, fullness. Yes, that's right, I was filled up. But what filled me? Chi? Peace? Contentment? Gratitude? Relief? Silence? I could ask more questions, present more hypotheses, but what I most wanted was to sit quietly receiving whatever it was that came to me.

My quiet moments reminded me of a story Sr. Antonia shared in the film, On the Road Home, which I re-watched last night. Sister mentions an instance when she sat down for Centering Prayer and realized that she was anything but centered. Instead she rose and went into her t'ai chi chih practice. A half-hour later--post-t'ai chi chih--she returned to her Centering Prayer; she was now fully present ... in the moment.

And perhaps that's what I felt today: deep presence and a connection to All. I recently read an excerpt from Joseph Campbell's Power of Myth in which he writes about walking the labyrinth. It reminded me of t'ai chi chih practice....

     The labyrinth is thoroughly known. We have only to follow the thread of the hero path, and where we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god. And where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves. Where we had thought to travel outward, we will come to the center of our own existence. And where we had thought to be alone, we will be with all the world.
                         From: The Mystic Vision, p. 27