Great Faith ... and Doubt

Great Faith.
Great Doubt.
Great Effort.
     The Three Qualities Necessary for Training
     From: The Little Zen Companion, p. 246

Yes. I read these words this evening and thought they appropriately described the life and experiences of a regular practitioner of T'ai Chi Chih moving meditation. The yin-yang aspects of this practice cycle back and forth between faith and doubt. And the reason T'ai Chi Chih makes a difference in my life is because I put extraordinary commitment and effort into returning to my practice day after day whether I feel like it or not.

Battling with, challenging, distracting, outwitting, accepting, and working with Monkey Mind takes tremendous willpower. Yet, when I remember how good I feel and how capable I become as a result of my practice, I realize that this "great effort" is really the effort of no effort (per Justin Stone).

Frances and I walked into the woods today to eat lunch with two new friends of ours who live in a tent on 20 acres. This is their second winter in the tent and this year they added a dozen chickens, several ducks, two pigs, and two dogs to their homestead. Their daily life--their training--brims with faith, doubt, and effort. When we talk with them, though, we're struck by how free they say they feel. Although they live in a way that many people consider crazy, they manage to live outside of the debt-filled existence that most Americans consider normal. Perverse irony?

The elusive sun visited us today and by nightfall the skies overhead were clear. I did my TCC practice in front of a dark window as I continually reminded myself: soften, soften, soften. By practice end I felt more relaxed and at home in my body. Tomorrow? Start all over again.