I arose feeling too tired. Too tired to practice. Too tired to play with the kitten. Too tired to sit quietly in a chair and read. Too tired to concentrate.... I promised myself a late day practice.
Gradually energy returned and around noon I began TCC practice. My eyes focused on one tiny glimmer of snow shining in at me from the railing outside my office window. Normally I have "soft eyes" during practice with my vision lightly focused on some distant point. Not today. I was drawn to the sparkle like a moth to flame, my gaze intent, my attention shifting to that one single point.
Like seated meditation practice when focus is one-pointed--centering on breath or mantra--occasionally my attention drifted away to follow a running squirrel or to contemplate a partially-shaded mound of snow. Quickly, easily, I drew my attention back to that one pinpoint of light. It held me--softly--in the Now as I moved through practice.
At Light at the Top of the Head/Temples my heartbeat unexpectedly speeded up ... my stomach flip-flopped, my head grew light. I abandoned practice, put hands on chest, and directed Reiki energy to my racing heart. After lunch I fell into an hours-long afternoon nap and reawakened after darkness settled back into place. Now, rested and refreshed, I write.
At night make me one with the darkness
In the morning make me one with the light.
Wendell Berry, from Earth Prayers, p. 369