Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Mishmash

Today's practice in one word? Mishmash. It was a confused mixture of night becoming day, wild kitten energy slowing into sleep, and my feeling self sliding from gratitude for this practice into impatience with my body's discomfort and shakiness while I moved.

Daughter in the Valley felt good--so relaxed and soft--that I revisited it after Pulling in the Energy. I wanted to reexperience the softness, the effortlessness. No luck. As I performed 18 repetitions on the left, then right, I felt like I was simply going through the motions. The magic was lost. The smooth, soft flow had disappeared like water evaporating into air.

Suddenly I wanted my practice to be over. Finis. I pushed myself through the repetitions. Patiently I reminded myself that the practice was necessary--and helpful--even though it didn't feel that way in the moment.

Now as I sit before my computer I watch the tiniest sliver of sunrise outside my office window. This narrow band of pink-turning-gold-turning-white may well be the only sunlight I see the entire day. I search for some written words to comfort and inspire me. Then, I know, I need to sit quietly to allow mind and body to settle, deepen.... Ah, here they are:
Be like a tree in pursuit of your cause.
Stand firm, grip hard, thrust upward, bend to
the winds of heaven, and learn tranquility.
          Dedication to Richard St. Barbe Baker,
               Father of the Trees, Earth Prayers, p. 362

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