My evening t'ai chi chih practice, performed in the middle of all this non-sense helped me to relax and calm myself. But, when I'm overtired, it's easy to become lost, overwhelmed.... to allow whatever came over me to over come me.
An appointment with a cardiologist today confirmed what I'd already suspected ... I have heart disease. At the moment that's hard to write or say out loud because I still have to get used to the idea of it. There's the fear, of course, and uncertainty. But there's also great comfort in knowing that I have t'ai chi chih moving meditation, Seijaku, and the Tao to restore, relax, and guide me.
Here's one simple--yet powerful--example ... today's reading from 365 Tao. The entry for today discusses fear.
All fear comes from our sense of self. When we stand at the border of reality, we are afraid that we will lose our identities by plunging in. We are afraid of being destroyed. But we came from Tao in the first place. We are Tao. To return to Tao is not to be negated, but to become one with the entire universe. True, we will no longer be who we are now, but we will be one with Tao. In that state, there is no need for fear.